Pass Me The Melatonin Please

It was early when I first awoke that morning.
A cold north wind was whistling around the high-rise.
Whispers of the Munsee Indians
who once laid claim to these lands.
We’d flown in Air India just the night before.
Lost 5 perfectly good hours in the process.
I remember she had her back to me;
wearing Sony walkman headphones
a sports bra and nothing else.
Running on-the-spot. Silhouetted against the glass.
Her bare feet pounding the parquet flooring.
Her Circadian Cycle all shot to hell.
It was early when I awoke, alone on the inflatable mattress.
Way too early. Far too early. Beaucoup much too early.
Outside, the snow was piled-up on the sidewalk hip-deep in places.
I sat there in shallow silence a while, propped up
by a pillow, eyes still wet with milky morning dew,
hypnotized by the veduta di fantasia illuminated behind her.
Dawn light burnishing the brownstones and skyscrapers with gold leaf.
Eldorado rebuilt on bedrock. Atlantis risen anew from the ocean floor.
A tangled mess of inlets and islands
on the very edge
of The New World;
conquered and colonized
and bent to the will of mankind.
This city of cities. This metropolis that Mammon built.
Kublai Khan’s stately pleasure dome made steel and concrete.
Putting a pot of cinnamon coffee on to boil,
I managed to persuade her to rejoin
me back beneath the crumpled sheets.
We made love like ancient Minoans;
cracking open our outer shells
and letting loose our astral forms
to roam amongst the space dust
- whilst 20 floors below, the background
vacuum-cleaner hum of Manna-hata
built gently towards its Gershwin crescendo.

BTW NICOLA, SEXY NURSES GIVE SHITTY HEAD.

Happy Halloween.

I look like a jaundiced baby meth addict with homemade braces.












































































My bruises on my face/neck are yellowy and I look like a baby because half of my face/mouth is still numb (it might come back...in 3 to 6 months...or a year and a half! HA!) and so when I have chocolate pudding on it, well I might not be aware, okay?? And I look like a meth addict because meth addicts teeth go to shit. And I look like I have home-made braces because I have homemade braces. They made them at the Montreal General, sure, but like a totally make-shift joke and like I could have done it just as pretty myself (if not prettier.)

That last picture brought this to mind immediately.





















It's cool how stuff like that happens, right??

All things said and done, I'd like to thank the folks at the Montreal General for being awesome! Seriously though, they were really nice and I think I know some of them well enough now that I could invite them over for American Thanksgiving if they are American and unable to go home for American Thanksgiving.

















In other news, the other day when I got back to Montreal from Ottawa, I was feeling dramatic because my steady is going away on tour for a month on Saturday and hadn't asked me on a cool date to do something cool before he goes and it didn't seem like he was going to and I was feeling all "C'mon! Bring the romance! C'mon! Please??"
























And then I had to go to the hospital in a taxi because I was going to be late because I spent 3 too many minutes being a drama queen in search of romance...





















I'm silly though because my boy sometimes sends me real mail (like...with stamps??) and we live blocks away from one another so he must be moderately sweet and into me, right??


Right. So shalala I'm at the hospital turning on the tears again (it's not an act though, I've just turned into an emotional tornado...) and I convinced the doctor to let me go without the really painful elastics as long as I stuck with liquids until November 19th. Cool? Cool-ish...























Pshaw, get real. I am NOT getting married. I'm getting ready for my guest appearance on the new 90210!

















So since I wasn't going on a date with any cool boy after my appointment, I decided to take myself on a hot date myself by myself.


















I bought myself a medium ("venti...") caramel frappucino and then I went to the movies and saw Rachel Getting Married and it's fantastic, it really is.

Debra Winger saunters back like it's no big deal and I'll take this as an opportunity to big up my girl Rosanna Arquette and this documentary she made that I liked.























So yeah, I took myself to the movies.

But first, naturally, I went shopping I bought myself some perfume because it's for some reason a cool gift for love or something and I was having a love myself date with myself.























Anyways. I really think that you should only buy someone perfume if you know that they like it and want it. I think it's really kind of mean and weird to tell someone what you think they should smell like. They might not like it. But they'll wear it for you. So as to not hurt your feelings.























My main man has not gotten over how his highschool girlfriend got him cologne that "smelled like dead hair at a barbershop." Which one? Ladies and germs, beWARE...

"Jean-Paul, Le Maaaaale"

I don't know what it smells like but I remember really loving these ads way back when and thinking they were kind of gay and putting them on my wall.
























Maybe I would really like the way it smells. Maybe like sex and candy??































Devin thinks my new Betsey Johnson perfume smells like a 45 year-old woman.


















I think this ad is the best because Betsey Johnson is like 70 (she's actually 66) and she looks like 19. I think she did it to be fun and funny. Like when she does cartwheels and wears bright wacky shit.
















So I guess it's sort of makes mathematical sense that I am 23 and smell 45.


My high school boyfriend wore Old Spice and sometimes Swiss Army and that was nice except that I think of him whenever I smell it and I don't think that I could ever really like it again.























Meanwhile, back in the real world, Devin wears Degree and I think it's just right.


Furthermore, I have rented 2 scary movies. One I've seen that is totally awesome.




































And one I haven't seen that looks pretty fun, no?























I'm going to go finish my homeworks and then go on an ice cream mission and make me an excellent milkshake.



















By the way, Dairy Queen closed until March like 3 days ago.

Quelle drag...




















Happy Halloween!

Schenectady County, New York State Of Mind

If a one-handed
Charlie Kaufman
stood there clapping,
in a facsimile of a lonely forest
built entirely within a metaphysical warehouse,
and there was
no-one there to hear him...
would he still make a sound?

Trailer for 'Synecdoche, New York'

Pokemon Names With Mon Ending

Projects ... Presentation

Current projects of the association are:

- The end of our work assembling animation project with a pubic insertion in to APROSEP

- Managing the trunk TOTI WWF

- Participation in drafting the booklet for teachers on the environment of the NFB

- Delivering the next CHAWARI on "Waste"

- The creation of an antenna of grain in western Guyana

- The reation to a comission conducting a new pack

Do Hcg Cause Hot Flashes

Present in most French regions, the SEED (Regional Group Animation and Introduction to
Nature and the Environment), are equipped with an association. The
Guiana SEEDS aims to organize a network of local associations and individual members involved in the field of environmental education towards sustainable development. He plays the role of practical interface between these associations and their supports Technical and finally, provide secretarial and facilitation of CREEG (Collective Regional Ed ucation for the Environment in Guyana). His 3 goals are:

- Strengthen and develop projects of EESD (Environmental Education for Sustainable Development)

- Publicize and recognize the problems of EA and SD;

- promote reflection and innovation.

The SEED developing since 1999 a range of projects and actions in support of environmental education to enable sustainable development of French Guiana. We continuously bring together actors who act in the field of environmental education to afford to go together to a harmonious development of our society. projects implemented enable us to develop, implement and enrich our experience in logistics and project coordinator.

OOH-EE, OOH-EE, OOH-EE...ICE! ICE! ICE!

How funny would it be if you were involved in a bike vs. car altercation in late July and broke your jaw, and THEN you fell on your face at 2nd Cup last Wednesday for no good reason (you fainted, but there was no Jason Priestley circa Pepe jeans ads in the house), and ended up in the ER with a broken jaw and didn't get out til Saturday??










































Momentarily hilarious at certain moments, I guess. It's just so totally ridiculous that it has to be a joke. I looked less scary last time. I had more teeth and fewer stitches, and looked less like I'd been involved in a drunken bar fight than I do now. I kind of can't feel half my face still, which is somewhat disconcerting, and it looks like I am trying to have a conversation with half of my mouth filled with Big League Chew, which is not too sexy.



















I am not wired shut but I have four terrible/horrible metal Frankenstein bolts in my gums with elastics stretched over them, and the bolts are actually so high up in my gum that I can feel them through my cheek BESIDE MY NOSE as in ABOVE MY NOSTRIL, which is frankly INSANE, making it totally impossible (as well as EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL) to attach said elastics without at least 2 helpers and I live alone and my steady is going on a RAP TOUR any day now, not that his hands are small enough to be of any help in the department anyway...


















Anyways. All I wanted for Christmas was a winning Hollywood smile and it looks like I'm going to get it.























Also, I need a hockey mask and a mouth guard.









































And maybe a bodyguard also.























Three cheers for friends of the blender. UH-gain...




















Milkshakes are both inevitable and impossible.

PEACE OUT AND WATCH YOUR STEP.

Elstree’s First Human Hungry-Man Dinner

That’s me. The Mafiya wiseguy
being slowly cooked alive in the
industrial-sized microwave on Stage 5.
The prize jamook with the rose tattooed on his chest.
I’ve been working hard on my dentalization.
Placing the consonants at the back of the front teeth.
Keeping the tongue thick and forward.
Making the L-sounds dark and heavy.
Giving the H-sounds plenty of air.
If in doubt, pout. If in doubt,
push the lips forward and think
good strong Russkaya thoughts.
Think Gorky Park. Think Vladivostok.
Think Astrakhan Oblast.
Think Sputnik 2 and Vostok 1.
Think Chechnya, Bolshevik and Stolichnaya.
I must’ve missed that day at actor’s school
when we worked on how best to simulate
having your internal organs
dielectrically superheated from the inside
by a constant stream of non-ionizing radiation.
But this much I know for certain; they forgot
to prick my skin before tossing me in here.
Think Glavnoe Upravlenie Ispravitelno-trudovykh LAGerej.
Think Komityet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosty.
Think Constantin Sergeyevich Stanislavski.
An average human body is between 60 and 70% water.
That’s well over half a person’s total bodyweight.
My black polyester suit is clearly Dry-Clean only.
It’s gonna be one helluva problem getting all the viscera out.

Official 'Kick-Ass' Website

'Kick-Ass' is a real-life superhero

BTW Nicola, your blog gives great head.

At about 4:30 this aft, I stepped out of my steady's, where I now am, with the intention to use the internet for scholastic purposes while no one is around. I was standing at the corner of Saint Laurent and Mount Royal, looking like a confused prostitute (my look was just SO all over the place, but it happens when it rains and you take what you need for shelter; skirts for biking made from Dollarama bags, etc, etc.) and it was funny because I was actually looking for a mailbox, trying to see in the distance which way I should walk because I can't walk four ways at once, can you?? It was/is raining and then a mid-late 20s male voice yelled "What are you looking for?!!!" and I thought it was a random dude in that split second before I saw that it wasn't a random dude; it was this guy who deals the pot to everyone and their grandma.






































Anyway, he walked me to a mailbox and in retrospect, to a blind person, it might have been comparable to that scene in Great Expectations (the critical bomb version that I really love), when Ethan Hawke is yelling in the rain, "Everything I do! I do for YOU!" at Gwyneth's Paltrow's unfeeling supersexy biatch, and he might as well have been yelling, "What do you WANT?!" which is basically the same as "What are you looking for?!" and then they kissed in the rain, GOD I LOVE THAT SHIT.















And then I went to Pharmaprix to get Devin's neighbour Karen a Dr. Pepper because she is feeling ill and needs her Dr. Pepper and cannot go out and get it because she is feeling ill, GAWD!























Karen is kind of like Carmen Electra when Carmen Electra used to drink 8 Cokes a day before Dave Navarro showed her the new way...























Except that it's Dr. Pepper and it's more like 10 cans (maybe) and plus, Karen is DE NEW YORK, like Vitamin Water, except that she's really cool and not full of as much bullish as Vitamin Water (s0rry Danielle, it's true.) And I really can't imagine her tongue tango-ing with Dennis Rodman...except that I can in my imagination, and it's actually pretty funny.

















Anyway, the big news is that at Pharmaprix, I conned myself into buying these Organic Energy Fruit Chews because they were 99 cents and normally probably like 10 dollars and they were actually pretty good, but the BIG NEWS is that in front of me at Pharmaprix was....KIM RUSK!!!












If you know who Kim Rusk is, please comment below and say so, and if it means registering to comment with an e-mail address and making a password and reading some wiggly letters, so be it. Do it, because seriously, you know who Kim Rusk is??












The cashier VA-LAY-RIE was like (in French) "Oh hey, you're the best, I love you, you're so pretty, you're so pretty in person, can you sign the back of your receipt you don't want??" and Kim did and so obviously I asked Val who this lady was and she told me "Love Story" and eventually I understood that it is a Quebecois reality show and I was asking "Is it like, a dating show??" and yeah, the guy in front of me was buying about 40 tetrapaks of RICE DREAM and he was English but probably cooler than me because he's a Montreal native maybe, and he was saying that there is this whole Quebecois celeb culture that you'd have no idea about if you weren't all up in it. As I was saying the other day to me homegirls who were all, "What do you mean, you've never SEEN Arrested Development??" As I was SAYING...."I only know TV up until Dawson's Creek, you guys."























I decided to look up Love Story in relation to Quebec and reality tv, and it took awhile and I kind of wished I had made an AliMcGrawlovemeansneverhavingtosayyou'resorry joke to the Rice Dreamer because then I might have saved myself 2 minutes on Google, by writing LOFT Story instead of LOVE Story.


















To me, this woman looked like a lot of women that hang out on Crescent (I know because I work in the heart of it) and that means they are over-tanned with a lot of make-up and their hair looks stiff and like it made love to a curling iron for at least 48 minutes, and there might be an aura of du Maurier smoke hovering about and you start to worry about the setting on their lighter, because if it's accidentally set to FLY NINE INCHES HIGH then there goes the cheveux because it's coated in half a can of BIG SEXY HAIR volumizing hairspray.




















I thought she looked about 30 but her bio says 1984. I wonder if she goes tanning at Cabana Sol around the corner... I wonder if they ask for her autograph there...


















Anyways, Kim Rusk seemed really nice and I guess it would be sort of like Real World San Fran fever circa 1994 or Real World San Fran Fever circa it's just as exciting to follow a whole season in syndication more than a decade after it was super relevant to pharmacy employees.





























I'm actually sort of really curious now, maybe I should start watching Loft Story somehow...maybe on the internet?? Maybe you can rent it at Videotron?? From what I understand, Kim is now the ANIMATRICE and the show is in it's 5th season and she won a lofty prize in the 3rd season and I think ANIMATRICE means she's become the host.





















Val was SUPER-excited and kept saying how pretty Kim was to which the Rice Dreamer quipped "She sure is tanned!" and I didn't take it the wrong way or anything but he was saying that it's not surprising that as an English student from the other side of the border, I've never heard of Loft Story.


















Personally, I think it's surprising that with a ponytail and hometown hippy vibe like his, Rice Dreamer should know that Rice Dream is like half the price it is at Pharmaprix at Seagal's, and I know it's not on sale this week at Pharmaprix because I LOVE MY PUBLISAC and swallow it religiously (on Sundays.)


















Also, I was thinking today about how absolutely crazy it once was that Madonna decided to call herself Madonna and do lots of unCatholic style things...

This might be true of a lot of peeps, so did anyone else know I'mkeepingthebaby Madonna before they heard about all that other Madonna stuff from way back when??

Madonna and Child! SUP SUP SUP! NICE PURSE!