Who Says Romance Is Dead?

There's just me,
Northern Ireland's most famous
moustache-sporting
Manchester United supporting UNICEF ambassador
and the IFTA award-winning hair stylist
(responsible for Bono Vox's 1984 mullet);
seated at a corner table
in a modern trattoria style eaterie,
located in a former wine merchant's cellar
just across from the current seat of the Irish parliament.
I recommend the apricot and pannetone
bread-and-butter pudding with pistachio biscotti ice-cream.

Happy Singles Awareness Day

3 Good Reasons Why I Still Heart Girls

Because sometimes
they come with freckles and pierced tongues.
Because sometimes they have
caramelised and porridge-thick Northern accents
and know just how to carry off a fringe.
Because sometimes
they possess the kind of eyes capable of detonating planets.

Cultivating A Samson Complex

If Samson had been
a supporting-actor in a BBC police drama
and marooned in Dublin for the weekend,
instead of some biblical hero of the Israelites
famed for wrestling lions
and slaying armies with naught but donkey's jawbones,
maybe he would've consoled himself
over the loss of his seven locks of hair
by ordering a chilli cheese dog and a hot slice of pie
in a themed American diner at the posh end of town.
Maybe they wouldn't have
put his eyes out and placed him in chains?
Maybe I should buy myself a wig?