Is It So Wrong Of Me To Want To Grab These People By The Throat And Shake Them 'Till They See Sense???

You can't move for sheep along the South Bank.
Just because you're a tourist,
it doesn't mean you have to be easily impressed
by people who paint themselves a metallic colour
and then stand still
on a box
for a prolonged amount of time.
They're not indigenous.
I've been to Spain and Italy and The Czech Rebublic,
so I know you have them there too.
Please don't encourage them.

False Beard Syndrome

Sporting that look
much favoured by geography teachers,
serial-killers
and Nottingham Forest centre-forwards
of a certain vintage.

It's Only An Empty Drawer

On the face of it,
it's only an empty drawer.
Except it's not. It’s more than that.
It's her empty drawer, see?
It's remained vacant and unclaimed for over a year.
Until 30 seconds ago,
I'd clean forgotten about it's existence.
It's been hiding out in the corner of the bedroom.
Biding its time. Just waiting to pounce.
Before I know it, it's too late;
The weight of negative space
contained within
catches me an upper-cut to the glass-jaw.

Is that blood I can taste on my top-lip?