These are DELICIOUS CAKES that resemble something that Adam Beck likes to stand in front of for a really long time on Tuesdays at Korova! I guess no one told him about THE BOY WITH SQUARE EYES...read books, not minds.
Anyway, if you're not going to the show, you should still definitely go to Blizzarts later for the OFFICIAL AFTERPARTY with ADAM BECK and PAUL JOHNSTON and THEIR #1 GROUPIE! That means me. It's going to be so much FUN as USUAL but maybe also even MORE FUN than USUAL even!!!
FINISH YOUR HOMEWORKS FIRST!
I know I'm going to.
Finish homeworks first.
Finish homeworks first.
Finish homeworks first.
Click heels together.
Oh well, still in Oz. But my cowboy boots totally rule...which ones? Trick question, ALL OF THEM!!!
GO TO BLIZZARTS. GO TO BLIZZARTS. GO TO BLIZZARTS.
I actually feel at this point in time that even if I do finish my homeworks, I really shouldn't be spending moneys on such things because I spent all my moneys in New York City, come to think of it! Plus my long-lost friend Amna Silim is coming in from Toronto tonight and I have to like help her find her way into Montreal from the airport...which will probably be REALLY REALLY HARD.
Okay you guys, see you tonight! At least come hang in spirit...do it for the rainbow!
HEARTS, STARS, PUPPIES, FRENCH FRIES...
NICOLA JANE YOUNG
P.S. Come back soon for hot tips on how to have the best breath for make-out hangalangs and also for some Japanese-related magical things.
If you're in Montreal tonight, you should go to Foufounes to see my friend Jason's movie, (re)public a psychedelic skateboard film. It's the PREMIERE and it STARTS AT 10 and it COSTS 3 DOLLARS which is nothing considering he worked on it for THREE YEARS. To see the preview and learn a little more, click the following link.
Jenna skateboards, I don't. Darcy skateboards, I don't. Mike Chiu skateboards sometimes, I don't. Mark Murray skateboards sometimes, I don't. Sometimes I like boys who skateboard though because boys who skateboard are hot I guess sometimes...sometimes they smell like sweat in that way that is strangely not gross. What I'm saying is that there will probably be HOT GUYS at FOUFOUNES TONIGHT. And thought-provoking cinematic experience that will likely blow your mind.
FACT: Tic Tacs will not improve your breath.
Bogus. If you want a satisfying and delicious snack with under 2 calories, I recommend a thin slice of red onion or a Diet Pepsi.
Seriously.
FICTION: Juicy Fruit is now longer lasting and it's also a great way to improve your breath.
SHORT FICTION: is a pretty cool class, as experienced by me on Wednesday evenings from 6 to 8:15. The teacher is sassy and she says funny things like "Duhhhhhh" complete with exxagerated eye-rolls.
MYSTERY: Why do birds...suddenly appear...everytime...you are near...
TRUTH: The reason I started listening to The Carpenters is this. My cousin Lindsay told me that our grandmother used to sing her to sleep with 'Close to You' when she was a wee one and I never really knew our grandmother as she passed away when I was very wee. When I think about what happened to Karen Carpenter it makes me very sad because it is a terrible thing when an eating disorder consumes you. The Carpenters tribute compilation, 'If I were a Carpenter' was something I bought after I thought I'd listened to all their old shit. However, The Cranberries cover of 'Close to You' is not the standout tribute jam by any means.
I really liked the Bettie Serveert version of 'For All We Know'. Bettie Serveert means "Bettie Serves" in Dutch. This is especially cool because they are a Dutch band and Dutch tennis player Bettie Stove basically rocked Wimbledon in 1977.
They toured with Jeff Buckley (a great love of my dear friend Katie Hermon's life) and they did a Velvet Underground cover album called 'Venus in Furs'. Better yet, the title track from their 1992 album Palomime is featured in Episode 4 of My So-Called Life from, you guessed it, SEASON ONE. They also covered Bright Eyes with 'Lover I Don't Have to Love'. Interesting but not particularly awesome is the fact that this particular cover can be heard in Episode 18 from Season 3 of The OC. That being said, The OC was pretty awesome when it started out but if we're going to get TECHNICAL, you'll certainly agree that My So-Called Life was more deserving of the honour of a SECOND SEASON.
Anyway, I also really liked the way Shonen Knife covered 'Top of the World'. Sonic Youth are on the compilation as well and I heard that Sonic Youth were heavy into Shonen Knife. I could go on about how I'M heavy into Shonen Knife and consider them to be another incredible piece of Japanese magic but I'll save that for another day. They still totally rule and so I am honoured to have them here with me tonight introduce the next segment....
FAQ #1) Why is it that these days, Juicy Fruit of the individually wrapped in shiny silver variety, is now YELLOW instead of WHITE?
The pattern of it is also a bit different, as is the texture and this I find all this infinitely perplexing.
FAQ #2) Why is it, that when you drink too fast, you stumble home early and aLONE??
Who knows guys, who knows...going home alone is actually not so bad once you've come to terms with the fact that 96% of the boys you know aren't worthy of your flower anyway. But Home Alone is the greatest movie of all-time. Anyone who disputes this fact is PROBABLY A PERVERT and OBVIOUSLY NOT R. KELLY. Because R. Kelly loves Macauley Culkin. Wait, that's Michael Jackson...or IS it?? Oh wow, I'm getting confused and could go off on one thousand twisted tangents right now so I'll spare you and leave you with R. Kelly's Macauley Culkin tribute aka R. KELLY'S LOVESONG TO MACAULEY CULKIN TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET.
LOTS OF PICTURES. THAT RELATE TO THE WORDS. READ THE WORDS. LOOK AT THE PICTURES TOO. THAT WAY IT WILL BE MORE FUN. AND CONSIDERABLY MORE SHOCKING.
THE FOLLOWING WAS DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU GO...
"OH NO YOU DI-INT!"
Shall we?
You like someone.
They like you too and you can tell.
For whatever reason, neither of you would ever admit your crush to anyone. Certainly not eachother. Maybe someone has a "girlfriend". Maybe someone is "confused about their sexuality". Maybe someone is "afraid of rejection". Maybe someone "forgot to brush their teeth".
Sometimes, saying goodbye turns into thirteen minutes. It's a sassy game of verbal catch. You're having fun and also trying to avoid the inevitably awkward end, when you have to figure out whether to give eachother a hug, des bisoux (muah/muah...left side first??), a high-five, or worse...a "props guy". A wave could be arguably worse, depending on your sense of balance...
This is the moment when in an ideal world, you would say "See you soon" to which someone might reply "How soon is now?" And proceed to guide you through the most thrilling make-out session of your life, against a brick wall, lasting 6 minutes and 40 seconds while The Smiths mysteriously provide mood music.
Then you walk home along a railroad track....
Feeling like a feather...
Your rush is making it hard to balance but you don't mind because you feel like a flighty rain-drenched Liesl von Trapp after her late-night encounter with Rolf in the garden.
You slip in the basement window you left open hours ago and live off that moment for the rest of your life without ever having to worry about what happens next...
The only people who should be confused right now are fools who don't have a heartfelt appreciation for Julie Andrews and teenagers whose parents listened to Roxette exclusively or better yet, teenagers whose parents listened to Chumbawumba...
On repeat. (BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG)
And by that I mean now-grown teen pregnancy statistics!
If you're 12, you should leave now and come back later.
At least wait until you turn 14 and start giving BJs.
Seriously though you guys, tweens should not be reading this trash because it's just that. TRASH. Trash that will spit it like it is and basically ruin your adolescent learning experiences faster than you can say "OH MY GOD AUNT FLOW IS HERE!"
I could have said "But Mr. HALL! I was surfing the CRIMSON wave!" but you wouldn't have gotten that either...
In conclusion, take your time growing up because it's totally worth it. Run along now!
Your low-rise jeans and high hopes are getting lonely.
Peace out, I'm going tanning/chainsmoking.
P.S. I don't understand why the writing beside pictures always gets so fucked up. It's really really really annoying. That's why I don't put in as many pictures as I used to. It's far too time consuming. Does blogger.com just really blow?? Does anybody know??? It ruined the flow of everything, especially the sausage shot.
