"HEY HEATHER LOCKLEAR! NICE STEMS!"

I had a dream. A dream that I would wake up early(ish) on July 2nd and swim a hundred laps in the midst of the jungle of a backyard that is my dad's glorious creation, while listening to the Money Talks soundtrack on a sawdust infused tapedeck that just keeps on keeping on.





















"BRAND NUBIAN! NINETY-SEVEN! MASE! HARLEM WANNA RISE!"

I am naked but for Tangerine Dream on my fingernails and Sublime Strawberry on my toenails and my hundreth lap finishes at the end of the side that ends with Barry White going on about his first, his last, his everything.

I am reminded of long ago learning the true meaning of PHAT (Pretty Hot And Tempting) and it turns out this is real life and the only imagined part of this blissful rise and shine episode is that the orange nailpolish on my fingernails turns out to be called Tequila Sunrise and not Tangerine Dream.

I'll big up Canada Day when I figure out how to take the pictures off my camz and put them on my mini-computer thing and when I figure out how to put into words the spirit of the Almighty Todd Marsky and how it made Canada Day in Ottawa especially supercool.





















The big up for today is for my homegirl Liane, also known as Leelee (yes, like the Sobieski.) Some of you may be familiar by the sweetness that is the chocolate cookie as created by my homegirl Liane, also known as Leelee (yes, like the Sobieski.) Anyway, LC (like the Lauren Conrad) has after a whisper past a year of friendship decided I am worth sharing the top secret recipe with so that I may spread her love to a select few Montreal folk while she is in France for the summer playing with Parisian babies.














Cute! So, I have followed the recipe exactly except that Liane uses milk chocolate chips and my moms and pops ain't got none'a'doze and Liane uses faux vanilla of which there is also none. That might sound like an upper and not a downer and also it's a falsehood because we go have two teaspoons of faux vanilla leftover from the vanilla crisis a few years back at which point real vanilla cost about 25 bones a bottle, so says my dad.

But I have a pretty supersonic sense of taste and smell and in trying to figure out what made Liane's cookies taste slightly butterscotchy, I correctly decided she used to faux vanilla many moons ago.
















So the faux vanilla might be the secret ingredient even! However, since we have semi-sweet chocolate chips and real vanilla, I decided to use these things in combination to see how they compare to the milk chocolate chip/faux vanilla mélange...

The point is, the first batch is exhaling in the kitchen right now and if you stay tuned you'll find out if I can do Liane's cookie recipe justice and I'll share with you Todd Marsky's take on the Korean blowjob and other fancy stuff.