METH MOUTH BE GONE!!

"Welcome to the 21st century", texted my brother. Cool, I guess.


Bought my first 12 pack of Dr. Pepper in eons on Monday. So far so good. As you may know, I used to knock back at least 2 litres a day, along with 6 cups of coffee.





















Did you know they now make tall cans of Dr. Pepper?? It's about time, you guys. You can find it at the Esso at Saint Laurent and Sherbrooke. But at Blockbuster it's 2 cans for 2 bones, which is sweet. Pepsi too, make a run for it.

Next biggie of the week is this.

TOMORROW I GET MY CROWNS!

As you may know, 2008 was the year of breaking my jaw twice and making all that early teen orthodontia go to waste, much like Justin Bieber's virginity. What do you mean, what does that even mean?? Underneath it all, I've looked like a meth addict (and NOT the Fergalicious kind...) for at least a year and a half and I'm bored the fuck out, yo.





















That said, taking out my falsies is a pretty great party trick and also a decent way to figure out whether peeps are cool or lame.

A few weeks ago, I popped into Blue Dog on a Wednesday and the bartender who's there more often than not had broken one of his front tooth caps, revealing a slightly discoloured and more lonely looking tooth. He pointed it out to me right away, I guess because he felt less than pretty. I hadn't even noticed and couldn't have cared less. But since he was clearly insecure about it, I decided to whip off my falsies with my tongue and show him where the real shit's at. Like, "HEY, WHO CARES?! COULD BE WORSE!" He was grossed out in a superlame way which confirmed my suspicion that he's kind of a douche. I had an accident or two!! Hey buddy, I just engaged in a selfless act to save you from your vanity! Duh!!

One time at karaoke night when nothing was happening, the DJ played Dave Matthews Band's Crash, why, I do not know, but this guy felt the need to announce to me, "This song has helped me get laid at LEAST four times." BARF ON YOU, BUD. You're not even THAT goodlooking. And your all-over print sweatshirts really BLOW...

GET ME OUT OF HERE!!































VEESH ME LECK!!

(Wish my luck in a vaguely Russian accent, thank you very much.)