Christmas is HUGE in Japan. Yesterday when my dad was driving me to Orleans for Devin Atherton's family Christmas party, we were listening to this thing on CBC where they were like in Tokyo talking to Japanese people in the midst of the Christmas rush, asking them if they had heard of Jesus. Pretty much no one had heard of Jesus but they all sounded VERY excited for Christmas. My mom told me 2% of Japan is Christian and I believe everything she says.
This is for my sister Hilary (and her Jewish roommmate Lindsay Rogers aka my friend Lindsay Rogers).
Yesterday Hilary told me I made a mistake. She said the puzzle wasn't 10 000 pieces. I told her I knew that, I just made up a bigger number like how I make up a smaller number for other things. Not really though, I can't lie for shit which is a blessing and a curse.
Hilary taught me something about Home Alone. Apparently when I saw Home Alone when I was 5, I heard...
You're with the French called "les incompetents".
And I never ever thought that it was anything else because that's just what I heard.
I HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED THAT THE LINE GOES LIKE THIS...
You're what the French call "les incompetents".
It's kind of like how I thought OMC's How Bizarre went like this...
"Help is on, help is on, help is on, help is on"
Sounds like HOW BIZARRE, right??
I learned of THAT mistake early on and so I was never the laughingstock of the entire school.
It's kind of like how Alliy Brown told me Julia Doran thought TLC were all "Go go Jason Waterfalls" 'n shit.
Funny thing is, I've said that line from Home Alone many many times over the years and no one ever called me on it. I guess it's because IT SOUNDED THE SAME AS WHAT LINNIE SAID.
Anybody? Anybody??
Did anybody order me a plain cheese?
Does anybody remember THIS??
This is for Darina Novotny and it contains an important message for everyone.
This is David Beckham and his Emporio Armani underwear contain a very important package.
UnFORTUNATELY, the alien that is POSH SPICE is the one who deals with it and I don't know why, but I think Posh is THE WORST SPICE GIRL EVER and I usually buy the US edition of ELLE magazine because I think it's WAY MORE FUN THAN VOGUE but not this month because it features THE WORST SPICE GIRL EVER on the cover and I will not support that nonsense.
Nevertheless, check this out.
I don't like Victoria Beckham because I actually picked up this book at Chapters once. I never liked her but when I heard of this book because of her, I liked her even less. I wasn't going to buy it, but I admit, I looked through it briefly. I was just curious. And curiosity KILLED culture??
And I am perpetuating this skinny bitch Hollywood nonsense by including it on here.
"If you can't beat'em? Join'em!"
That's what Pam Anderson said in regards to that awesome show V.I.P.
Maybe I just wanted to show you THE WORST SPICE GIRL EVER'S CRAZY BREASTS that she CLAIMS ARE REAL that have PERMA HARD ALIEN NIPPLES made of STEEL.
Not cool.
Pam Anderson's breasts, on the other hand, are awesome.
I LOVE PAM ANDERSON.
I love when I catch a Christmas episode of Baywatch, when you know that inevitably, somoneone is going to produce fake snow in hopes of a BJ and Christmas in California will be a magical thing.
This is for Ian Mortimer and it contains an important message for everyone.
My mom showed Hilary and I a miracle today.
She actually said "Do you want to see a miracle?"
And we LOVE Christmas miracles.
My mom's Christmas miracle was the beauty of the grate option on the Cuisinart and it is indeed a wondrous sight. She was grating cheese for the fancy lasagna she is making me that has butternut squash and pecans and also grated cheese, of course.
Another Christmas miracle is that since I said "whatever" to turkey and the like when I was 13 years old, my family has gotten a lot better at making me interesting holiday meals.
I was talking to my gurl Katie when I came across my mom in the kitchen and Katie who only said "whatever" to turkey when she was 19 or 20, said "Oh you're so luckyyyyy, my mom won't make me ANYTHING cool!" and I told her "Don't worry, you get used to it and every now and then you get pleasantly surprised" kind of like how you get used to how it's only like every 6 months that you...find yourself thinking about meat lasagna as though you were a carnivore??
This for anyone who wishes soul fever hadn't gotten the best of James Brown last Christmas.
This is for Katie. It's her favourite song and so it should be!
Hey Katie. Did you know that The Colour and the Shape was remastered and re-released with extra tracks in June of this year??
ME NEITHER!
Hey Katie. Did you know it's been 12 years since we got Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness for Christmas??
Hey everybody. Do you ever think about the last time you asked for a double CD for any occasion? Birthdays? Promotions?? Graduations???
In relation. Congratulations to KATIE for FINISHING HER UNDERGRAD. That's big news. I will miss her when she leaves Montreal. But I would love to take over her apartment. I'm just saying. I'M JUST SAYING!!!
And this is for Paul Johnston, who explained how to put a video into your blog quite some time ago but I never really understood and I was always really mad at him for not explaining it to me properly but I learned yesterday that he DID, I was just too impatient to deal with slow internet so I thought he was fucking with me.
This is for Jenna Bond.
This is for Noelle and all Lazaros actually.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
It's time for a lovely meal with my family and I've just been informed that we're taking a picture and I'm still in my cardio sweat from 2 hours ago, not to mention spandex capris and a pit-stained Hanes undershirt.
GREAT!
You're so vaiiiiiiin. I bet you think this blog is about you!
LOVE,
NICOLA
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