female assistant wanted (Montreal)
Date: 2009-11-06, 9:16AM EST Reply to: job-g5fcs-1453849529@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Hi there. I'm a fit, fun, easy going attractive white guy looking for an assistant who can give me some feedback from a female point of view. I want to start doing strip shows for bachelorette parties and i really need to practice and get some experience. I'm looking for an assistant who can watch me and volunteer some time to help me get a routine that looks good. This would be on a voluntary basis whenever you have some free time. If you enjoy watching a fit, attractive guy strip, lol it's the perfect thing for you. I hope this post doesn't offend anyone, i just really need some help with this. It'll be fun!
Lord, DELIVER ME!
The most terrifying moment from my Gap model fantasy blowing up in my face was when Noah Mills' myspace profile came up and his quote beside his probably sexy picture was "I am a model, you know what I mean..."
Ohmigod, the worst. The WORST! Gag me with a spoon, it's over.
If you ever get the chance to watch this on the big screen, it's really something. If you think it's going to be the same thing over and over, wait til the five minute mark. And it is wrong that I just thought to classify it as Timothy McVeigh porn??
Everybody's got their something.
Soanyway. I went to the dentist this morning and read a fashion magazine (FASHION magazine) with a teenage Taylor on the cover. Who can keep track, I know. Closer inspection showed that the Taylor was Momsen and she's on Gossip Girl!
I'm not big/up on television, not that I'm too cool for it, I'm just really not that with it. I've heard about telly on the world wide web but we have some old-fashioned thing about bandwidtch restriction that means 3 to 5 I'm Too Sexy views a month, at most. Whenever I tell someone I can't watch whatever on youtube because we already went over our limit, there comes the joke, "HA! Do you have dial-up too?!" Then I do a really good dial-up impression and we laugh, oh how we laugh.
Okay so there's Taylor Momsen, Taylor Swift, and Taylor Taylor Swift's boyfriend, right?? (Taylor Hanson goes without saying. Taylor Hanson. Check!)
I bet they all have cousins named Madison.
Speaking of Madison, I overheard at Ben & Jerry's that...
"Yaw, Madison is soooo pretty, but she is SUCH a betch."
"Yaw, and she totally knows she's pretty too."
"Yaw, I know, it's sooooo true."
There were like 8 girls, brownie fro-yo types, out for a treat on a 21st birthday. That said, they ordered ice cream, but they were still the worst. They talked the talk of mean girls in movies/The Hills to the point that I almost spilled my mop water it was so funny.
Before I decided the birthday girl was maybe the worst of the worst, I liked her. She liked my coworker Heather though, because Heather guessed she was turning 19 and I guessed older (albeit correctly.) To get her back on my side (why, I do not know) I said, "Being twenty-one is SO much FUN!" And SHE said...
"PROMISE?!"
It was too funny.
The more I googleimage Taylor Hanson, the more I believe that this "one to watch" young (Davidoff Cool Water type) actor pointed out to me at the Calvin Klein party I went to with my girl PJ in September was in fact, Taylor Hanson doing that thing models do where they lie about their age and change their name to something cool like "Duth Trahp" to kickstart their careers.
And the more I googleimage Taylor Hanson, the more I remember that I forgot that he's in a band with James Iha from the Smashing Pumpkins??
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