Here we go, PIP PIP CHEERIO! (Yes, I'm talking 1930's Brit...)
Prince William and his COMMONER girlfriend Catherine Middleton are very KEEN on a wedding date of Friday, April 29, 2011. The BETROTHED couple have also chosen Westminster Abbey as their destination, which is much more PROPER than their original intent to marry in their FLAT.
The BBC reports the Royal Family and the Middletons will be paying for the wedding with taxpayers dishing out extra POUNDS for the added security.
William is set to wear TROUSERS while Kate is hoping to get away without wearing any KNICKERS. They are already rehearsing their first SNOG as man and wife and yes, there will be tongue. Unless, of course, they're involved in a ROW, which then they will be much less inclined to make out.
Dinner will be upstairs so you must take the LIFT if you're planning on enjoying your BANGERS AND MASH. Children will be served CHIPS. Please take your FAGS outside though as there is no smoking in WestMinster Abbey, understood? And don't even try to sneak one into the LOO because they are equipped with highly sensitive smoke detectors.
The wedding will end at around midnight, then everyone will be asked to BUGGER OFF.
That's all for now. CHEERS!
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