THE FOLLOWING WAS CREATED AS A QUICK FIX ON DECEMBER 14TH AND THEN EVEN THE 10 MINUTE COMPUTERS AT THE LIBRARY WERE FUCKING UP.
SINCE THEN I'VE BEEN PLAYING IN THE SNOW AND DANCING WITH MY SISTER AND NOW I'M IN OTTAWA EATING COOKIES AND OTHER FANCY STUFF.
THIS INSTALLMENT IS LACKLUSTRE BUT I DON'T WANT TO RUIN CHRISTMAS. I WANT TO GET BACK IN THE GAME. AND I'VE GOT TO START SOMEWHERE. DON'T GIVE UP ON ME. I JUST WANTED TO PLAY IN THE SNOW AND DANCE WITH MY SISTER.
WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY...PREPARE TO BE BORED.
LISTEN UP EVERYONE. WE HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT THERE'S AN UNKNOWN VIRUS ATTACKING ALL CLUBS.
SYMPTOMS HAVE BEEN TOLD TO BE HEAVY BREATHING WHILE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ALL YOUR SHIT DONE AND LOOK CUTE DOING IT.
IF YOU RELAX AND TAKE NOTES, YOU'LL SEE THERE'S NO NEED TO GET YOUR KNICKERS IN A KNOT.
IT MAY APPEAR PUZZLING.
BUT YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, THE BEST GIFT IS MONEY.
AND WHITE LIES.
SUCH AS "GRANDMA?? PFFFT...I COULD HAVE SWORN YOU WERE JOLENE'S SISTER!"
AND IF YOU THINK IT'S TOO LATE TO SAVE HER, TELL HER CIGARS ARE THE NEW BOTOX.
AND NEVER EVER TELL ANYONE THEY LOOK FAT EVEN IF THEY LOOK FAT.
TELL HER STRETCH MARKS ARE THE NEW SILLY PUTTY.
AND THEN PREPARE FOR WAR.
USE YOUR BEST JUDGEMENT.
AND IT WILL ALL COME TOGETHER IN THE END.
PLEASE DON'T STOP RAIDING THE FRIDGE.
LOVE,
NICOLA
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