I have no idea what any of this really means...
You take your eye off the ball for a few scant seconds,
and now it's all 1.3 megapixel polyphonic true tones this
and tri-band bluetooth 3G compatible that.
An exact replica of her predeccesor
(stolen by bandits on the Welsh borders),
she's witnessed Scandinavian fjords,
Kerelan sunsets
and the snow-capped vistas of Utah.
She's been a faithful companion over the years,
but the time for upgrade is finally upon us.
In a bid to stop myself feeling like a complete Luddite,
I force myself to confront the self-service checkout
at my local supermarket for the very first time.
Please place the item on the conveyor belt.
Please place the item on the conveyor belt.
Please place the item on the conveyor belt...
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