Excerpts from Snooki's bookie

In case you didn't already realize, Snooki's 7th grade paper that she's passing off as a novel is now available. 

Just so you know what kind of a challenging read you're getting into, the NY Post has a few eloquent excerpts from "A Shore Thing"...

• "He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face."


• "Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla."


• "Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage."


• "Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky."


• "Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn't nearly as gritty and disgusting as she'd seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank -- on a weekday afternoon -- was as clean and quiet as a church."


• "I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk."

How has Oprah not added this to her book club selection yet??  Total snub job.