GET OUT YOUR CALCULATORS.
Q: What has the ability to single-handedly improve one's day by nine-thousand times nine-thousand?
Talk amongst yourselves.
What's that??
"A really next haircut with superblunt ends", you say??
For some perhaps, but not for me.
HERE'S A CLUE.
Still bewildered??
A: Extensions!!!
They're great in regards to essays, not just Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie circa the INCREDIBLE FIRST SEASON (of The Simple Life, duh).
Needless to say, I now have the ability to hit it out tha park, A+ style.
In addition, this miracle of miracles enables me to go home to Ottawa and eat great meals with my parents and hang with my steady like it's totally (totally) awesome.
In relation...SHALOM/SHALOM/SHALOM to my sister's steady, Russell Simco.
Which brings me to my next question...
Q: What would my ex-roommate Caroliner Murphy (with whom I remain the best of friends and maintain the utmost respect for) do if she were religiously destined to engage in Passover festivities?
This considering she is HELLA allergic to gluten (although certainly no stranger to the odd drunken cheeseburger/pizza/cupcake faux-pas).
A: Follow the following, or rather, have her parents follow it while she channel surfs (much to Roger's On Demand's chagrin).
GLUTEN-FREE MATZAH CRACKERS!!!
Makes approximately 16 2 to 2-1/2 inch (5-6 cm) round crackers.
4 oz. (125 g) potato flour [starch]
2 oz. (50 g) ground almonds
2 Tablespoons olive oil
4 Tablespoons water (keep 2 teaspoons water in reserve)
pinch of salt
Preheat the oven to gas no. 8 (450 F, 230 C).
Mix together the potato flour, ground almonds and salt.
Mix the olive oil and water (less the 2 teaspoons reserved water) in a bowl,
sprinkle on the dry ingredients, and use a fork to mix to a dough (if
dry-looking, add the reserved water).
Knead and form into a ball (if at all sticky, dust the board with a little
potato flour) and roll out slightly thicker than matzah.
Cut into 2-21/2 (5-6 cm) rounds. Prick all over with a fork and bake at gas no.
8 (450 F, 230 C) for 10 minutes or until light brown in colour.
OKAY!
So everybody enjoy the long weekend and love like you've never been hurt and ALWAYS remember to swallow or you look like kind of a wuss, straight up.
To everyone's babymama who still puts forth an effort in the name of EASTER EGG LOVERS INCORPORATED??
Big UP.
My mom happens to be the MASTER.
She basically puts MINI EGGS in plain view on coffee tables, banisters, ottomans and wherever else happens to be within her reach when the clock is tick tick TICKING.
And so, in honour of how my mom is the shit/never going to give me any more brothers and sisters (what's the big idea, right?!?!)...
LET THE HUNT BEGIN (future-tense).
Silly RABBIT...
THE EASTER EGG HUNT!!!!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
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