The Things We Do To Pay The Mortgage # 1

You'd never think it to look at me,
but pin a wild grey periwig to my head,
affix a salt-and-pepper
moustache to my top-lip with spirit-gum,
place me upright upon an electronic
personal assistive mobility device,
and in a certain light,
I begin to bear an almost uncanny
resemblance to noted theoretical physicist
Professor Albert Einstein (1879-1955).
Voted "Person Of The 20th Century" by Time Magazine,
Professor Einstein's brain was removed
upon his death by a man called Thomas Harvey.
The grey matter has since disappeared,
and is supposedly still out there somewhere;
along with Percy Bysshe Shelley’s heart,
the cock-and-balls of Grigori Rasputin
and The Arc Of The Covenant.
Give me a break. It was either this or the new Pot Noodle.