CRAZY AS I WANNA BE! CAUSE I MAKE IT ORDERLY!

HEY TEAM!

If you're in Montreal tonight, you should go to Foufounes to see my friend Jason's movie, (re)public a psychedelic skateboard film. It's the PREMIERE and it STARTS AT 10 and it COSTS 3 DOLLARS which is nothing considering he worked on it for THREE YEARS. To see the preview and learn a little more, click the following link.

http://www.republicmovie.com/

Jenna skateboards, I don't. Darcy skateboards, I don't. Mike Chiu skateboards sometimes, I don't. Mark Murray skateboards sometimes, I don't. Sometimes I like boys who skateboard though because boys who skateboard are hot I guess sometimes...sometimes they smell like sweat in that way that is strangely not gross. What I'm saying is that there will probably be HOT GUYS at FOUFOUNES TONIGHT. And thought-provoking cinematic experience that will likely blow your mind.

FACT: Tic Tacs will not improve your breath.

Bogus. If you want a satisfying and delicious snack with under 2 calories, I recommend a thin slice of red onion or a Diet Pepsi.

Seriously.

FICTION: Juicy Fruit is now longer lasting and it's also a great way to improve your breath.

SHORT FICTION: is a pretty cool class, as experienced by me on Wednesday evenings from 6 to 8:15. The teacher is sassy and she says funny things like "Duhhhhhh" complete with exxagerated eye-rolls.

MYSTERY: Why do birds...suddenly appear...everytime...you are near...

TRUTH: The reason I started listening to The Carpenters is this. My cousin Lindsay told me that our grandmother used to sing her to sleep with 'Close to You' when she was a wee one and I never really knew our grandmother as she passed away when I was very wee. When I think about what happened to Karen Carpenter it makes me very sad because it is a terrible thing when an eating disorder consumes you. The Carpenters tribute compilation, 'If I were a Carpenter' was something I bought after I thought I'd listened to all their old shit. However, The Cranberries cover of 'Close to You' is not the standout tribute jam by any means.

I really liked the Bettie Serveert version of 'For All We Know'. Bettie Serveert means "Bettie Serves" in Dutch. This is especially cool because they are a Dutch band and Dutch tennis player Bettie Stove basically rocked Wimbledon in 1977.

They toured with Jeff Buckley (a great love of my dear friend Katie Hermon's life) and they did a Velvet Underground cover album called 'Venus in Furs'. Better yet, the title track from their 1992 album Palomime is featured in Episode 4 of My So-Called Life from, you guessed it, SEASON ONE. They also covered Bright Eyes with 'Lover I Don't Have to Love'. Interesting but not particularly awesome is the fact that this particular cover can be heard in Episode 18 from Season 3 of The OC. That being said, The OC was pretty awesome when it started out but if we're going to get TECHNICAL, you'll certainly agree that My So-Called Life was more deserving of the honour of a SECOND SEASON.

Anyway, I also really liked the way Shonen Knife covered 'Top of the World'. Sonic Youth are on the compilation as well and I heard that Sonic Youth were heavy into Shonen Knife. I could go on about how I'M heavy into Shonen Knife and consider them to be another incredible piece of Japanese magic but I'll save that for another day. They still totally rule and so I am honoured to have them here with me tonight introduce the next segment....

FAQ #1) Why is it that these days, Juicy Fruit of the individually wrapped in shiny silver variety, is now YELLOW instead of WHITE?

The pattern of it is also a bit different, as is the texture and this I find all this infinitely perplexing.

FAQ #2) Why is it, that when you drink too fast, you stumble home early and aLONE??

Who knows guys, who knows...going home alone is actually not so bad once you've come to terms with the fact that 96% of the boys you know aren't worthy of your flower anyway. But Home Alone is the greatest movie of all-time. Anyone who disputes this fact is PROBABLY A PERVERT and OBVIOUSLY NOT R. KELLY. Because R. Kelly loves Macauley Culkin. Wait, that's Michael Jackson...or IS it?? Oh wow, I'm getting confused and could go off on one thousand twisted tangents right now so I'll spare you and leave you with R. Kelly's Macauley Culkin tribute aka R. KELLY'S LOVESONG TO MACAULEY CULKIN TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08tIP64JPys