INACCESSIBLE SLICE OF LIFE/GRAPHIC NOVEL/MAKE-OUT INDUCED HEADRUSH

LOTS OF PICTURES. THAT RELATE TO THE WORDS. READ THE WORDS. LOOK AT THE PICTURES TOO. THAT WAY IT WILL BE MORE FUN. AND CONSIDERABLY MORE SHOCKING.

THE FOLLOWING WAS DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU GO...

"OH NO YOU DI-INT!"

Shall we?

You like someone.

They like you too and you can tell.

For whatever reason, neither of you would ever admit your crush to anyone. Certainly not eachother. Maybe someone has a "girlfriend". Maybe someone is "confused about their sexuality". Maybe someone is "afraid of rejection". Maybe someone "forgot to brush their teeth".

Sometimes, saying goodbye turns into thirteen minutes. It's a sassy game of verbal catch. You're having fun and also trying to avoid the inevitably awkward end, when you have to figure out whether to give eachother a hug, des bisoux (muah/muah...left side first??), a high-five, or worse...a "props guy". A wave could be arguably worse, depending on your sense of balance...

This is the moment when in an ideal world, you would say "See you soon" to which someone might reply "How soon is now?" And proceed to guide you through the most thrilling make-out session of your life, against a brick wall, lasting 6 minutes and 40 seconds while The Smiths mysteriously provide mood music.

Then you walk home along a railroad track....

Feeling like a feather...

Your rush is making it hard to balance but you don't mind because you feel like a flighty rain-drenched Liesl von Trapp after her late-night encounter with Rolf in the garden.

You slip in the basement window you left open hours ago and live off that moment for the rest of your life without ever having to worry about what happens next...

The only people who should be confused right now are fools who don't have a heartfelt appreciation for Julie Andrews and teenagers whose parents listened to Roxette exclusively or better yet, teenagers whose parents listened to Chumbawumba...

On repeat. (BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG)

And by that I mean now-grown teen pregnancy statistics!

If you're 12, you should leave now and come back later.

At least wait until you turn 14 and start giving BJs.

Seriously though you guys, tweens should not be reading this trash because it's just that. TRASH. Trash that will spit it like it is and basically ruin your adolescent learning experiences faster than you can say "OH MY GOD AUNT FLOW IS HERE!"

I could have said "But Mr. HALL! I was surfing the CRIMSON wave!" but you wouldn't have gotten that either...

In conclusion, take your time growing up because it's totally worth it. Run along now!

Your low-rise jeans and high hopes are getting lonely.

Peace out, I'm going tanning/chainsmoking.

P.S. I don't understand why the writing beside pictures always gets so fucked up. It's really really really annoying. That's why I don't put in as many pictures as I used to. It's far too time consuming. Does blogger.com just really blow?? Does anybody know??? It ruined the flow of everything, especially the sausage shot.