celebrity of celebrity: CHOCLAIR COMING DOWN WITH THE NORTHERN TOUCH.celebrity of celebrity

The rumours are true. I'm leaving Montreal.

Relax, it's just for a few days! I'm going to the land of berets, baguette, brie and turning up your nose. That's right kids, I'm going to FRANCE!

By that I mean my dad's car. Meaning Toronto actually. But that pretty much describes my dad's car except he has Miss Vickie's instead of baguette and that is not his fault and if you ever meet my dad you should ask him to do the bit about the Miss Vickies calling his name because it's bloody hilarious and can only be rivaled by when he plays the bag-pipes with his nose. Or if you asked him to do the Miss Vickie's bit in a Scottish accent that would suffice.

I'm going to Toronto very soon. By this time tommorow I will be there. I am currently writing a paper on multiculturalism and identity politics in relation to Jin-mi Yoon's A Group of Sixty-Seven. I hear that Toronto is multicultural. I hear that they have pizza in Toronto, and roti and sushi and samosas and movie stars and sometimes spicy eggplant sandwiches ALL IN THE SAME BLOCK and you can eat a big meal like Rita MacNeil and who said vintage jokes can't be as chic as vintage alligator-skin clutches?? Not Karl Lagerfeld and he used to eat big meals also.

[SIDENOTE: I actually dreamt about REASONABLE ACCOMODATION last night...it's probably because I didn't go to my Issues in Ethnocultural Art Histories class for two weeks so I got punished with relevant shit in the time that is normally reserved for Pamela Anderson and if I'm lucky, Yasmin Bleeth.]

That was mean. It's like I'm TRYING to give myself nightmares...

I haven't been to Toronto in nearly 4 years. Alym and I drove down to see The Roots in May 2004 in his sister's car and I met his dad and his dad fed us and we stayed at my cousin Mike's apartment and slept in the same bed but that's it I swear and Mike's then-girlfriend showed me 'their' miniature chihuahua's (read: HER miniature chihuahua's??) wardrobe which included a hand-knit sweater with skulls on it, which is wild because skulls are still happening apparently, as Dane(GERUS...) of TOP TEN WEIRDO IN CURRENT NIGHTLIFE MAGAZINE fame was showing me his new fun fashion fare earlier this evening which includes fun potato sackesque satchels with embroidered skulls and stars of David (sweatshirts and wallets also)and he's wondering if they're going to fly at the craft sale in two weeks and I'm not sure but I'll tell you where and when and you can decide for yourself and Dane gave me some fudge he brought back from New Brunswick that his mom made and it was really really tasty, thanks Dane.

Back to the chihuahua. She even had dog clothes made by the designer that dressed Reese Witherspoon's chiuahuahua in Legally Blonde...which totally blew my mind in both directions.

When I saw Mike at Erica's wedding in April he had a new lady friend and he called me Hilary which would have been unacceptable considering he's like 29 years old, but he was wearing a plaid suit so I didn't make a fuss, nor did I bring up the designer chihuahua of days gone by....