"It is recklessly absurd in a way that no one can rival!"- THE NEW YORKER
And big shoes mean nothing/everything/very little/thank GOD he's not wearing flip-flops.
Let it be known that I have no idea who belonged to these shoes...I found them at a house party in Halifax over a year ago and for all I know, that boy has now completed puberty and has way bigger feet and shoes these days. For all I know, they belonged to a girl! And by girl I mean SHE-WOLF-MAN!
Anyway, it's nice that it's getting cold because not two weeks ago some sillyheads were wearing flip-flops thus totally harshing my mellow...
That said, it's about time I went and got the pedicure Caroliner gave me for my birthday...on August 21st.
My mom told me she would pay for a pedicure for my high school grad. I never got one, I guess because my boyfriend loved me and maybe even sucked my toes on occasion and I'd never even had a pedicure ever in life. I've still never gotten a pedicure or even a manicure. This may or may not be the main reason I haven't had anything resembling a relationship in years but no big deal, and here are some very small albino monkeys.
Point is, my own high school grad was one of the worst nights ever and thank GOD/Bryant Lazaro for asking me to his grad at a time when all the kids in high school were not in even in high school when I was in high school....
I had a total blast and he gave me a bottle of brandy which was romantic I guess...and then instead of going on the AFTERGRAD BOAT CRUISE, I decided to call it a night and let the lad find someone his own age to knock boots with. Except that I didn't call it a night because if you hadn't already heard...
I went to a house party in the company of 10 (mostly)freestyling boys and that party was basically 40 more boys in backpacks hip hop shiz and I was all glammed out in a fancy dress with a corsage and I had a fun time telling people I'd just graduated from high school...it was also fun the next day when after bussing home at noon on Canada Day in my prom dress, I looked in the mirror and was confused as to why my hair was curly when it wasn't when I went to the dinner dance at the Museum of Civilization the night before...
And then I remembered my amazement at finding out that one could pay rent to live in a boiler room, a brandy-induced massage segue to shower, interspersed with 3 to 5 parts R&B...and it was that much funnier because when I was on my way to Bank Street to hop on the OC Transpo at noon on Canada Day, I stopped in on a friend who wasn't home. Instead I found some boys my sister went to high school with and they were all YO YOU WANNA HIT THIS?! and I was all well I've done enough 17 and a half year old shit in the past 16 hours that HECK YES I WANNA HIT THAT!
That is an unfortunately very small picture of Katie and I getting hiiiiiiigh when we are FIFTEEEEEEEEEN. If you want to see a bigger version, come over and check it out because it's definitely the centrepiece of my living room. What an epic night that was...40s and blunts, bicycle adventures downtown to Nickels, starting Hook with Jenna 4 times and half-baked brownies and maybe no one else remembers but we listened to Volume 1 of Funk Flex's 60 Minutes of Funk!
Anyone who doesn't think Incarcerated Scarfaces is a really incredible song is not me I guess...the Fugees freestyle on there always made me go "SHIT YEAH!" mostly because Lauryn Hill said something about how "I'M NOT JAPANESE BUT I GOT SOME MITSUBISHI!" and I could totally totally relate because I'm not Japanese either although more often than not, I wish that I was.
Funny thing, I remember long before the boiler room mishap, that lad was at a house party at my parents' crib one summer and we was BLASTING THAT SHIT and he was all "YO NICOLA! VOLUME 1 IS HARD TO COME BY! GIRL, YOU DOWN!" Also, when I went public in grade 11 and made my way into Brookfield, I remember bringing that album to gym class and some skeptical homegirls were like MAYBE THIS PRIVATE SCHOOL GIRL IS NOT SO BAD AFTERALL! One girl even said...you always smell so nice! It was SO PINK from THE GAP and I did smell nice, it's true.
Anyway, Streets is Watching is the jam of the day just because hey, why not?!
And in case you're not a sleuth, sometimes, when I'm feeling like y'all need to work on your sleuth skills and discover dope jam messages...I'll weave the jams in IN CODE FORM. In the past week I've referenced jams by Shonen Knife, De La Soul, Jay-Z and R. Kelly and who knew, but that time I said NEVER TEACH THE WU-TANG, I was basically trying to remind you all that TICAL IS A REALLY GREAT SONG and TICAL IS ONE OF MY MOST FAVOURITE ALBUMS EVER and make note that I did not say ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HIP HOP ALBUMS EVER because it's up there with Kind of Blue in the shit that will continue to blow my mind forever realm.
BIG UP TO KATIE HERMON FOR BEING THE ABSOLUTE KING OF KILLER METHOD MAN DISSES!
Actually, she might tie with my sister Hilary for that title.
That doesn't change the fact that if you have as much reading to do for school as I do, you should probably take out this book from your local public library before it's mid-December and out of stock. Relax...you can renew it!
If you're rubbish at renewing and awesome at racking up late fees, I suggest you splurge and buy it. I reckon it's under 10 bones. This is a way to plan ahead...like if you want to have kids and you want to make said kids with someone who doesn't celebrate Hannukah/Kwanzaa (not that there's anything wrong with that/that) and you want to read them something fun and funny come December, well buy now and pray later! Other ways to plan ahead include birth control pills, diaphragms, condoms, and spermicide. Pullling out is also a sure bet. And if you fuck up? There's always plan B!
THASSWHASSUP, right?!
Also...I almost forget and so I came back to say so...it's Remembrance Day so keep that in mind because it's important.
AND IT IS LISA JEAN SPROULE'S BIRTHDAY!
Lisa is my girl from high school and I haven't seen her in about 4 months and isn't it bizarre how you used to see all the same people every single day and now you see them 3 to 4 times a year or sometimes never?? Oh wait, then you move to the Plateau and see the same people every single day and it's kind of like high school except that I have way more fun these days than I did in high school and some may say I had some fun times in my teens.
This a picture of Lisa Jean Sproule, Nicola Jane Young and Emma Jane Cridge on Canada Day in teen times...
I miss those girls and those times (sometimes). I hope that Lisa comes back to Ottawa for Christmas and I hope that Emma does too but I think that's unlikely because she lives in New Zealand. I HAVE NOT SEEN HER FOR OVER A YEAR! Looking at this old thing, I'd say we're all considerably better-looking these days although it's safe to say some thought we were cute back then too because our v-cards were long-lost for sure!
We're also all less wild and crazy and ridiculous (sometimes). About 10 seconds after this photo was taken I started feeling shy and somehow ON PURPOSE became topless and walked around in broad daylight like that on a VERY BUSY STREET because you're allowed to do that in Ottawa and so you should?? Especially on Canada Day. When cameras are everywhere.
Hmmm...them were some foolish times and it was really funny when Lisa gave me that shy moment photographed and framed for my birthday one time and it's funnier to think that my ex-girl/new girl Noelle stole it from me when we lived together and from what I know, her teenaged brothers are all well-acquainted with it...which is cool I guess because when they were a bit younger they could get away with accidentally on purpose falling face first into my rack like it was diving time in the deep-end and nowadays I might smack'em upside the head if they even tried!
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