It has come to my attention by way of my own personal private late Sunday night Tical listening party that "NEVER TEACH THE WUTANG" isn't even part of the song Tical. It comes at the end of the album, which closes with the remix of..."emm-ee-tee.aytch-oh-dee.MAN!"
I've just heard the Spice Girls new song Headliners (Friendship Never Ends) and watched the video...it's a really terrible song and the video makes it worse.
The girls pull off the incredible feat of looking like drunken stoned 17 year olds, 6 year olds playing dress-up and Selma Blair in that scene from Cruel Intentions where she tries to show Ryan Phillipe that she can be sexy....simultaneously! That is mildly interesting because it's filmed somewhere that resembles the house from Cruel Intentions in terms of decor. Then again, that's not interesting in the least. Ginger Geri has abs this week (UH-gain) and Posh should be the one called Scary and Scary should get over Eddie Murphy fucking her over once and for all. Sporty will never top that raw duet she did with Bryan Adams and that really says something. And Baby has realized that pigtails only make perverts delirious and they are not the ideal look for her baby-thin hairs anyway...
In conclusion, I never hated the Spice Girls...I actually did a really great Spice Girls meets Backstreet Boys airband in grade 7 during SPIRIT WEEK. I was a BSB and then the Spice Girls cut in and spiced it up and I got to go home with Posh (Erin O'Reilly) and that was really something because I didn't even make the soccer team that year. We won the airband competion of course and I have an eery feeling I've written about this before on this here fridge...
As I write this, the Spice Girls in Istanbul interview is playing and Emma is talking about how she and Mel B. would have jungle night in the kitchen and Geri and Victoria haaated jungle music and so they would leave. No mention of Mel C. so I guess she was at the gym listening to Summer of '69 getting ready for her big hit. Emma then goes on to say that while the others were at the gym, she and Mel B. would eat fried chicken. She says that Geri is clever and Mel B. likes washing up. She hasn't mentioned anything about maybe becoming washed up and then tricking the whole wide world into paying millions for a ticket for the comeback tour....
That said, if someone were to GIVE me a ticket, I would definitely DEFINITELY go. Friendship never ends. They haven't changed a bit!
Oh look it's another Christmas album.
This Keith Haring image is one my favourite holiday scenes besides TOYS R'US. No but REALLY...I love it and guess what else? It's been ten years since I saw the Keith Haring exhibit that changed my life in Toronto. It made me happy. It made me sad. It made me want to learn new things. I feel old today but that's okay because I feel good.
I feel conflicted about the following Mel Ramos piece because the girl is kind of pretty but ketchup isn't sexy and CATSUP is even worse.
As for this one, when I see this woman and the words PASTEURIZED PROCESS CHEESE SPREAD, I can't help but think of cellulite and pap smears and there goes your erection?? Mine too.
Now THIS excerpt from a certain Brian Robbins masterpiece is up to par...
In addition to directing/producing Varsity Blues, Brian Robbins hosted a televised version of Pictionary in 1989 and starred in Head of the Class, which was no Cosby Show, that's for damn sure.
I was just joking, I'd take Mel Ramos' imaginary friends any day over Ali Larter but maybe that's because insider scoop tells me her whipped cream bikini is actually made of shaving cream....which probably tastes worse than VELVEETA and CATSUP combined. Am I right? I'm right. Kids say the darndest things.
Especially Peter.
Now I don't know about you, but it's Monday morning so I'm going NIGHTCLUBBING.
We're what's happening. Get it? It's the library. We learn dances. Brand new dances. Like the nuclear bomb!
Party on. See you never!
NICOLA JANE YOUNG
No comments:
Post a Comment