From: Hilary Young (hilaryoung@hotmail.com)
Sent: November 18, 2007 6:58:21 PM
To: one_fat_fish@hotmail.com
DEAR NICOLA.
next time you have time to write 4000 words in your blog, make it 3000 and write my 200 word email. OK?
i'm going to make you shirt that says:
WILL TRADE SISTER FOR BLOG
i'm JOKING. i have to go finish editing my essay which, upon review, sounds like a 3 year old threw up on a paper. SUP YOU GUYS I'M READY TO GO HOME NOW.
From this I concluded that I should probably create a photo-essay about how cool she is??
And ramble on about how much fun we have together writing rhymes??
AHOY! THAT SHIP HAS SAILED!
Once upon a time there was an epic rap group called THE POSTAL SERVICE, a name derived from the way in which their bass-heavy grind-dance jams were created (SHARING SNIPPETS BY MAIL NO DUH) for smash success despite the fact that the rap group's two main members lived in different cities/time zones.
Fact of the matter is, this epic rap group is actually known as DOUBLE DUTCH DUMPTRUXXX, but everything is else aforementioned is based on real-life events. The name DOUBLE DUTCH DUMPTRUXXX was derived from a shared love of an incredible collaboration between two skipping ropes, dumptrucks, mispelling everything, and all things x-rated.
Particularly X-mas...
And X-tina Aguilera...
At the time, it didn't seem like the use of XXX was totally cliché eventhough repeated listenings of Frenetiko were at an all-time high that month.
My sister Hilary and I are the founding/only members of Double Dutch Dumptruxxx. Our shit is really underground and basically the only thing the general public can get their hands on without venturing 8 miles in, is an awe-inspiring archive of promotional images as created in MS PAINT circa 2006/early 2007.
It took a t-shirt to raise a child.
And it took just 6 minutes in Claire's tween boutique to pen our #1 single 'YO HO (A PIRATE'S LIFE 4 ME)', take the promo shorts for the album cover, and get promptly thrown out into the cold hallways of the Rideau Centre in a manner reminiscent of the closing shot of the opening sequence of Fresh Prince.
Some compare us to the hard-partying Hiltons...
And sure, we like to dance all night as much as the next cnady-raver but let it be known that our drug of choice is, more often than not...CARROT CAKE.
The only white stuff we'd travel 5 miles for at 6 am would be vanilla icing (FOR OUR CARROT CAKE OR EVEN JUST FOR A LONELY SPOON). We don't fight much, but we do engage in healthy debate over relevant world issues.
It's an on-going discussion which began on the eve of THE BIG VISIT last spring.
"THINKING AHEAD, THINKING AHEAD" as our father likes to say.
He also taught us that cats make silly pets.
And he encouraged us to practice our German.
And nurtured our love for the djembe, simultaneously urging us to march to the beat of our own drums.
Which we chose to interpet as "Throw sick house parties when your moms and I are out of town."
Some may say this was a rather creative interpretation, but we still developed a life-long/loving relationship with Ladysmith Black Mambazo at an early age, by way of a little thing called Graceland.
Dr. John G. Young tried his best to instil in us the belieft that shopping is a spectator sport at best, and one that is always secondary to gardening on any given Sunday, which we really took to heart.
Above all, our father presented us with ground-breaking role-models.
And by that I mean, "OUR MOM'S THE SHIT!" as she taught us to ZIP UP OUR PURSES among other important things.
In conclusion, we double the fun.
And we can't WAIT for Christmas!
Stay tuned for the exact time of Hilary Elizabeth Young's long-awaited mid-December arrival in Montreal and meanwhile get AMPED!
My brother Alexander Lachlan Young made this for me for Christmas last year, to be strategically positioned for ritual prayer sessions before going NIGHTCLUBBING.
IT WORKS! IT REALLY WORKS!
We'll be hanging with our bro at Christmas and raving it up YOUNG TRIAD STYLE in FESTIVE ATTIRE.
BACK 2 THA GRIND/FRIDGE.
Relax! Relax! I wrote her an e-mail too!
ONE MORE THING!
Happy 23rd Birthday to my dear friend Nathaniel Heaney, he who has likely never read mein blogenstein and might not even know what a blog is, but that doesn't really matter. Nathaniel housed my birthday party back in August and I had a blast and I hope he likes the cake!
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