Cart Wheelminster Abbey

After the wedding of William and Kate (I will not call them Duke and Dutchess, that's a title for old, hag-looking people), some guy who works for Westminster Abbey was BUSTED doing cartwheels down the aisle. SINNER!







The man has been identified as Ben Sheward, a verger for 10 years, according to the Daily Mail UK, and wasn't looking to gain any publicity. I guess he thought the cameras were turned off by that point but sneaky little ITV kept theirs rolling which was still streaming live to millions. Shortly after, this clip appeared on YouTube and now the amateur gymnast is a twirly whirly internet star.



One spokesperson for Westminster Abbey sees the light-heartedness in all of this commenting, "The verger, like all of us, was very pleased the service had gone according to plan, and was expressing his exuberance."



But some other stuffy asshole was all: "We are just trying to keep a lid on this one. The verger has been spoken to a number of times and has been advised how to handle the situation."



Honestly, you act like the "situation" is that he straight popped a shit on the red carpet.



Rumor has it, Sheward is said to be feeling guilty as fuck over his display of pure talent and Abbey staff have warned him not to speak publicly about it... The extreme version of the story-- He's in HIDING. Nooo, don't lock your mad skillz away from the world!!



Is he actually being scolded for a couple of cartwheels though? What-- God doesn't like cartwheels? Should he go to confession, beg for forgiveness, do two Hail Marys (one for each cartwheel) and then maybe he won't go to Hell? He should be praised for his sick moves, not punished. However, it's been said that he's unlikely to face any official disciplinary action. PHEW! So you can put that belt away, Queen Elizabeth.



WHATEVER, this guy will be yesterday's news as soon as video of royal stepmother Camilla Parker Bowles doing The Worm at the wedding reception is leaked online.



You're totally going to look up the word 'verger' now aren't you?