Bachelor Pad 2 cast - official

Okay the official cast hasn't quite been finalized as there are three "mystery men" from Ashley Hebert's current season of The Bachelorette who haven't been revealed yet... but the other 15 contestants for Bachelor Pad 2 have.



I told myself this was the dumbest reality show on television last summer... yet here we go again and I won't even bother to kid myself-- I'm stoked for all the psychotic breakdowns.

Entertainment Weekly reports the long speculation that ex-lovers Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi will indeed be living under the same roof on Bachelor Pad 2... Yessss! I hate how much I love their drama. And to make shit even more awkward, she's now dating Kasey Kahl, that try-hard who got a tattoo for Jake's "one who got away"-turned-Bachelorette, Ali Fedotowski... I know, it's amazing Kasey ever found a girlfriend.



And the rest of the desperates are...



LADIES:

• Gia Allemand (“The Bachelor” Season 14, Jake Pavelka) - This broad gets a do-over? She fell for Wes on the first season of Bachelor Pad and rumor has it, Vienna came between them after the show... Now Gia is all friendly again with Jake, who he decided he only liked third best on The Bachelor.


• Holly Durst (“The Bachelor” Season 12, Matt Grant) - Not Fred Durst's sister but she used to do it all for Michael Stagliano's nookie. He was on Jillian Harris's Bachelorette season, his identical twin brother is marrying Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas, and he almost married this Holly woman who was merely a contestant once. P'yuhh.


• Vienna Girardi (“The Bachelor” Season 14, Jake Pavelka) - Currently has her heart guarded and protected by Kasey. Had a screaming match with ex-fiance Jake on a Bachelor special following their breakup, with a side of salty tears. Apparently boned Wes?


• Jackie Gordon (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack) - Just Jackie. That should be the name of a TV show. Just Jackie.


• Michelle Money (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack) - Was the "villain" last season on The Bachelor because all the girls had their feelings hurt by her sarcastic camera comments. But she redeemed herself when she warned the current Bachelorette, Ashley, about this season's Bentley and his asshole "intentions"-- even though he actually sweats douchiness-- apparently someone needed to be warned. Wouldn't be shocked if Bentley was one of those "mystery men"...


• Ella Nolan (“The Bachelor” Season 14, Jake Pavelka) - Single mom who hates on Jake for sending her home on a 2-on-1 date when he was The Bachelor. I hope she screams, "You'll never be my baby-daddy now!" at him. Seriously, why is Jake there? He has to face all these chicks he denied... OH I just got it. He's gonna try and get some. I could totally see him trying to hand out roses again like he runs that shit.


• Erica Rose (“The Bachelor” Season 9, Lorenzo Borghese) - Everybody knows Erica. Okay nobody does. Who?


• Melissa Schreiber (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack) - Seriously all this chick is known for is never having a chance with Brad, and starting some bitch fight with another girl who never had a chance either. They both got booted the same night.


• Alli Travis (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack - Dumped in a cave.

GENTS:

• Graham Bunn (“The Bachelorette” Season 4, DeAnna Pappas) - G-Bunz, duh... Okay I forget.


• Kirk Dewindt (“The Bachelorette” Season 6, Ali Fedotowski) - Fourth in-line to receiving Ali's final rose if his dad wasn't so creepy on his hometown date... Ali was supposed to meet the family, not all the stuffed, decapitated, dead animal heads in the basement.


• Kasey Kahl (“The Bachelorette” Season 6, Ali Fedotowski) - Should probably cut off his wrist if he doesn't want to get made fun of hard in this game.


• Jake Pavelka (“The Bachelor” Season 14) - Aren't Bachelors and Bachelorettes too good for this show?? Unless, that is, your "acting career" isn't going anywhere...


• Justin "Rated-R" Rego (“The Bachelorette” Season 6, Ali Fedotowski) - The infamous wrestler who hobbled around on a broken foot and had girlfriends back home. And almost crossed over into Jersey Shore when he got with Angelina Pivarnick for a hot minute afterward.


• Michael Stagliano (“The Bachelorette” Season 5, Jillian Harris) - Please tell me there's a DNA twist like Big Brother and he's switching in and out with his twinsie.


• Plus three mystery dudes from Ashley's season. My guesses are Bentley, masked man, and the call-it-what-you-wanna-call-it alcoholic who got loser drunk on the first night.

Bachelor Pad 2 premieres Monday, August 8. Oh and one or two of these jokers will be winning an undeservingly large amount of money. But will it be worth all the sexually transmitted diseases??

Bachelorette contestant West has been through some shit

Pretty much, if you end up as a contestant on The Bachelor or Bachelorette, everything in your past is fair game when it comes to the tabloids. They'll post photos of your days as a Hooters waitress, judge the fuck out of your face pre-nose job, and interview anyone and everyone who has ever diddled you, texted you, or met you at a party once.

Usually what they dig up is just "meh" shit. Nothing that will ruin your life, it might screw with your current relationship if you end up getting picked in the end, but it's never anything too serious. Until now.

The reports coming out about this season's West Lee and the circumstances of his wife's death is crazy sad-- and some believe shady too. According to People, his mother-in-law refuses to believe he didn't have something to do with it. A rep from the police department who investigated the case says, "Her mom voiced concern about the cause of death, but we looked into the case a second time," adding, "There was no physical evidence on scene that suggested Sarah Young's death was a homicide by Adam West Lee." (Hehe, Adam West. Sorry...)

In 2007, West's wife was found dead in their bathtub. Even though her death was ruled an accidental fresh water drowning, they still aren't sure if she purposely tried to kill herself. The coroner discovered she had marijuana and alcohol in her system, she had been very depressed, and had even been caught inhaling computer dusting spray two weeks earlier. Sarah had sadly attempted suicide twice before as well as getting into a few minor car accidents over a short period of time which prompted her family to seek medical help for her. Majorly heartbreaking.

On the season premiere of Ashley Hebert's Bachelorette last night, West brought up his wife of seven years explaining, "She had this history of seizures. One day she went and got in the bathtub. I checked on her and I found her face down in the tub. [I] pulled her out and I called 911."

Here comes the part where you roll your eyes though... W also admitted to law enforcement he was high as well at the time of her death. That obviously doesn't mean he killed her, and who knows if the outcome would have been any different had he been sober? Clearly, the girl had issues. It's just seriously tragic.

But even though the case is closed, I bet West-side is stoked that this is all coming out in the media now and causing doubt upon himself... But, really, he had to know it was coming after going on this show. He must reeeeally want to find love again, get engaged, break up, become the next Bachelor, find love, get engaged, break up...

Explanation please.

What the hell is this about?  Failed Bachelor/Dancing With The Stars loser/pilot/actor-wannabe Jake Pavelka hanging with The Hills star/failed singer/plastic surgery gone wrong'd Heidi Montag and some Real Housewives quitter with a sex tape? (Danielle Staub...) AND some other guy I don't know??

According to People, their sorry asses have come together for a new VH1 reality show where they will revamp a slummy restaurant or whatever in just 28 days.  As if any of them actually know shit about renovations.  I'm assuming it's gonna go something like this:



JAKE: "Dibs on decorating committee! This place needs more long-stemmed roses. Golly!"

HEIDI: "I WOULD be a waitress but like I can barely walk without toppling over, I don't want to like break any dishes..."

DANIELLE: "I'll have my maid do everything. Who wants to see me naked?"

OTHER GUY: "Thanks for letting me be here guys."

HEIDI: "Yeah, like who are you? Do you know LC? Can you tell her I miss herrr?"

JAKE: "Will you accept this rose?"



I guess this is what reality stars stoop to when Donald Trump and Dr. Drew won't take them...

Brad Womack Bachelor finale & the new Bachelorette

During his second run as The Bachelor, Brad Womack finally found lurve... But it seems as though the woman he chose is not as into it.  Awkward!

Last night on the finale episode, it came down to 2 fan favorites... Chantal O'Brien and Emily Maynard.  Chantal was always professing her feelings for Brad while Emily had the sob story behind her.  Seriously, how many times did they bring up her dead fiance and their love child?  So it seemed as though Chantal was the obvious choice as she had no reservations about starting a life with Brad, they were cute together, had fun, etc.  He seemed completely into her too until this last episode...

[It was the dress... I blame the dress.]

Emily, on the other hand, was always questioning shit.  Sure she's been hurt before, but she wasn't fully opening herself up to Brad cuz she was scared or whatever.  And when he would lay it on the line with her and promise her everything she ever wanted, she totally couldn't accept it.  She was always like, "Well, you know... what if?  And like, well, you know... what about this?  What about that?  You know, like..."



Well, you know, like, he took a chance and proposed to Emily anyway.  He had stronger feelings for her, so you can't really knock him for not choosing Chantal... The heart wants what it wants.  The heart doesn't know rational, yo.



On the After The Final Rose special following the proposal, Emily was freaking the fuck out.  Since it had been a few months since filming wrapped, host Chris Harrison revealed that this special was originally supposed to be their wedding special.  Yeah.  Just like the only 2 other Bachelor/Bachelorette couples that made it, ABC wanted to film their wedding day... but Emily said about getting married right now (and I quote), "I love you, but NO."



Harrison also brought up the fact that Brad and Emily had broken up since the engagement and fought ALOT.  She wasn't willing to move to Austin to be with Brad at this point either.  And although they both said they consider themselves an engaged couple now, she had trouble even answering a yes or no question of whether or not she wants to marry him... Red flags everywhere!

The thing is, Emily couldn't handle seeing Brad get close to the other women once the show aired.  Even though she knew the process was over and that he chose her in the end, she couldn't deal with seeing him romancing other chicks up.  She also said she had a hard time separating her reality from reality TV... So that's when the "success stories" Trista and Ryan, Jason and Molly, and Ali and Roberto were brought out to give them some advice of how they got through watching the show, their lovers loving up on other people, the media scrutiny, etc.  Pretty much, ABC is desperate to make this work.



Meanwhile, Brad was like, "Seriously Emily! I love you! Let's just get married, stop being a weeeeirdo."  But she just seemed super uncomfortable, actually-- like she can't even stand him.  I can totally see her ruining everything.  WHEN Brad gets brokenhearted, it will be because Emily can't commit.  At least this time, she'll be the bad guy and he won't get blamed for being a dink who screwed up on The Bachelor again...



It's simple... Brad knows what he wants, and Emily is sabotaging her own happiness.  Honestly, I think she needs therapy and that's not a bad thing... she's gone through a lot in her life and subsequently, a lot of fears have been created.  Work it out, girl!



In Bachelorette news...

As announced on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Brad's third-place lady, Ashley Herbert, has been chosen to be the next Bachelorette!  Chantal may have been a potential option, but she found another dude after the show finished filming so she's good.



Ashley, who can finally stop going by 'Ashley H.', is a 26-year-old dental student from Maine.  She's adorable and got a hair makeover and EVERYTHING.



Her season debuts May 23.  Hopefully we only have to deal with minimal Brad Womack flashbacks...

Bachelor Brad's badass past

Up until now, everyone thought the worst thing Brad Womack ever did was reject both finalists the first time he was on The Bachelor in 2007.  But now Star magazine has uncovered his awesome rap sheet!

So check it... Brad was first arrested in 1993 for driving with a fake driver's license and was sentenced to 180 days probation for that.  Apparently he was also found guilty of writing a bad cheque at some point.  Ohhh tricks!  Then there's the time he was busted for public intoxication.  Haha, k they're all kind of lame, this is so not scandalous at all.



I guess the reason Brad, 38, never had his past uncovered before though was because at the time of his troubles with the law he was going by his stepfather Charles Pickelsimer's last name.  Sneaky sneaky...



And no, the Bachelor at age 20 didn't look like a man pushing 40 back then too, that mugshot was updated in 2009.

The Bachelor slapped!

Either ABC is scripting shit early this season, or this trick really needs to stop taking The Bachelor so seriously... which is unlikely since now she's ON IT.



In a new promo for Brad Womack's return to his "journey for love" or whatever they always call it, the first girl he meets out of the limo slaps him in the face for "every woman in America" or something.  So over-dramatic...



P.S. there's really no reason to watch past :14 seconds.  Unless you LIKE unnecessary slow-mo.







More like Brad WoSMACKED!  What they don't show you, is that he punched her in the head immediately after.

Yep, the new Bachelor is Brad Womack again

Why the hell is this guy coming back to the show that burned him so hard??



Last week it was rumored Brad Womack would be returning as The Bachelor, and now it has been confirmed true.

Fuck that's a lot of pressure.  He certainly can't NOT pick anyone again.  I bet ABC has already made him sign a contract promising he won't make a mockery of their twisted dating program twice.  But even after (if) he picks someone, he's going to have to effing marry her and never get divorced for people to finally lay off the guy.  And with that show's success rate...  Good luck with that!



And now that they're reusing old Bachelors, please tell me that the now-single, emotional, turtleneck-wearing, pretentious Jake Pavelka will NEVER get a second chance.

And the next Bachelor is... not who you expected

Looks like ABC has found a new way of recycling old Bachelors...



Instead of choosing from the pool of rejected Bachelorette contestants, rumor has it this time, they're choosing from the pool of former BACHELORS.  As in, a guy who already HAS BEEN the Bachelor.

US Weekly and several other media outlets are reporting Brad Womack will be returning as The Bachelor next season.  For real?  Ugh... Brad made headlines in 2007 for being the first (and so far only) Bachelor to choose no one on the show.  He received a lot of backlash for his decision, but it was GOLD for the franchise.  In the aftermath, one of Brad's final two, fan favorite DeAnna Pappas, was chosen as the next Bachelorette with the perfect sob story for ratings...



From there, DeAnna's runner-up, single dad Jason Mesnick, was chosen as The Bachelor.  Followed by Jason's third-place pick, Jillian Harris as the Bachelorette.  Then one of Jillian's rejected contestants, cry baby pilot Jake Pavelka, became the most recent Bachelor.  And after that, Ali Fedotowsky, who backed out during the final four in Jake's season, was chosen as the most recent Bachelorette.



So everyone just assumed Chris Lambton, Ali's runner-up, would become the next Bachelor but word has it, he's not interested.  Apparently he has NOOOO problem getting girls now ha ha ha.  Oh yeah, and he's afraid for his life because crazy broads are stalking him.

That means now, ABC is in a bind because really, they picked so many fucking duds and creeps last season, that the rest of them aren't worthy to carry the title of Bachelor!  But instead of finding someone new and fresh, they're going back to the guy who started this latest chain of recycling... Brad Womack.  Yawn.  The dude was never anything special...



Well, if it has to be... I hope this time instead of picking NO ONE, he picks EVERYONE!  And then ABC can give TLC a run for their money in polygamist reality programming.