Speidi going after Sparah

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are pissed at Virgin Mobile for stealing their act.

TMZ reports the former stars of The Hills are demanding the cell phone company pay them off to continue their 'Sparah' campaign-- a.k.a.-- a fictional manufactured couple named Spencer and Sarah. It's blatantly obvious who they were inspired by, yes. And Virgin didn't even try to rack their brains to come up with a different name other than Spencer! Bahaha...







It's funny though!



And we should all be suing Virgin for putting Speidi back in the news...

Explanation please.

What the hell is this about?  Failed Bachelor/Dancing With The Stars loser/pilot/actor-wannabe Jake Pavelka hanging with The Hills star/failed singer/plastic surgery gone wrong'd Heidi Montag and some Real Housewives quitter with a sex tape? (Danielle Staub...) AND some other guy I don't know??

According to People, their sorry asses have come together for a new VH1 reality show where they will revamp a slummy restaurant or whatever in just 28 days.  As if any of them actually know shit about renovations.  I'm assuming it's gonna go something like this:



JAKE: "Dibs on decorating committee! This place needs more long-stemmed roses. Golly!"

HEIDI: "I WOULD be a waitress but like I can barely walk without toppling over, I don't want to like break any dishes..."

DANIELLE: "I'll have my maid do everything. Who wants to see me naked?"

OTHER GUY: "Thanks for letting me be here guys."

HEIDI: "Yeah, like who are you? Do you know LC? Can you tell her I miss herrr?"

JAKE: "Will you accept this rose?"



I guess this is what reality stars stoop to when Donald Trump and Dr. Drew won't take them...

Jennifer Aniston is a meanie to Heidi Montag

Remember when Heidi Montag went to visit her mom on The Hills for the first time following her plastic surgery and she made that frightening cry face?  Girl has an UGLY cry...

Well apparently Jennifer Aniston has made that face happen again...



Heidi, who makes a cameo in Jennifer and Adam Sandler's new movie Just Go With It, tells US Weekly the actress banned her from the premiere.  HAHA.  She's all, "I'm so upset. I was so excited! This is the first movie I've ever been in and I can't walk the red carpet because Jennifer Aniston decided I was 'too polarizing."



She whines a little more, "I've been such a huge Jennifer Aniston fan my entire life and it's just really upsetting that she would do this to me. She should know how hard it is to make a career for yourself and to have someone like Jennifer Aniston go out of her way to make things hard for me is really disheartening."

But Jenn's rep is denying this shit saying, "This is absolutely false. Jennifer has nothing to do with who was or was not invited."



And now even Heidi is going back on her story like a dumbass.  She retracted her lies to US Weekly shortly after explaining, "it was all a big misunderstanding. I got my invite and I would have loved to be there, but I had to be Los Angeles with my dogs."



HAHA okay... more like the producers told the ungrateful little brat to drink a warm glass of SHUT-THE-HELL-UP.

New Heidi Montag music

Oh Heidi Montag... despite the fact that her music will never lead her to become the next Britney Spears (or even the next Ke$ha), the girl keeps on trying!  It's sweet really.



Here she is sounding like a pull-string doll on her new song "Heartbeat":







Not only that, but Heidi's husband is following up his leaked track "Ain't No Thang But A Chicken Wing" with this winner... "Go To Work" features Ya Boy and Pete G.  Dudes, this is not the way to build up your cred, by hooking up with Spencer Pratt...







How about you go back to work on a reality show, please anything but this!

Spencer Pratt's "song"

Heidi Montag isn't the only one in this marriage who gets to bring horrible music into our lives... Spencer Pratt has recorded a song called "Ain't No Thang But A Chicken Wing".  I'm not even kidding.



Rumor has it he was too embarrassed to release it, ha ha ha.  Really?  After all the shit he's done??  But thanks to TMZ, that mess has been leaked anyway.







I need this to be my ringtone.

Heidi Montag's surgery scars

It's hard to determine whether Heidi Montag got more attention when she revealed her new plastic surgery earlier this year, or if she's getting more attention now that she claims to regret it...  Either way, girl is broke (so she says) and needs to hustle for that coin!



The former Hills star is on the cover of Life & Style with a saddy sad face complaining of the hideous scars her cosmetic surgery left behind... a daily reminder of the trauma she went through trying to become 100% plastic.

Here's exactly what the magazine reports Heidi is dealing with...

"Red inflammation and uneven body parts including: a 2-inch-long raised blemish under her chin from her chin reduction, two caterpillar-size bald spots along her hairline from a brow lift, a horrifying jagged line behind her ears from having her ears pinned back, lumpy legs and four spots left on her lower back and below the buttocks from botched liposuction, a bright-red mark inside her right nostril, uneven boobs, a stretched mark on her chest and deep scars around her nipples from a second boob job."

I wouldn't put it past her to have had scarred herself on purpose... KIDDING.  I genuinely believe she wishes she could reverse what she's done to herself.  I actually like that Heidi is on the cover of magazines revealing the scary side to plastic surgery and making people realize it's not as glamorous as it seems.  That shit is dangerousss!  Do you hear that BRIDALPLASTY??







Sickening.

Heidi Montag regrets her 10 plastic surgeries

This is very interesting...



First of all, it seems as though the swelling in Heidi Montag's face has finally gone down after those 10 plastic surgeries last year.  And she actually looks pretty!  But if she had to do it all over again, she now says she wouldn't.





She should really dedicate the rest of her life speaking to young girls to try and prevent unnecessary plastic surgeries.  Scare em straight!

Speidi renewed their vows, if you care...

After drunk eloping in Mexico on The Hills, followed by a scripted wedding on The Hills, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have decided to have a respectful, intimate ceremony to renew their vows... on Entertainment Tonight.  And they wonder why people question their sincerity?

Spencer says of the big day yesterday, "This time it's just me and my bride [and ET] on a little secret beach with nobody else [except for our only friends, cameramen] and it's just about her. Versus last time it was about everything else, it was about drama, it was about ratings. [Now it's for any minute of publicity we can get]."



Heidi adds, "It was about everyone but us, so this is really our first wedding about Spencer and I and our love. Now I feel like I can finally just be Heidi and just be in a marriage and just be a person. I’m just really enjoying every day. [Plus I got a new face and body so I needed a new wedding to replace the pictures from the old one]."



And since these bitches be broke now, they had their latest wedding DONATED to them.  Yes, somebody horrible actually thought these two famewhores were deserving of a dream wedding, even though just a couple of months ago they were trying to divorce each other.  What is wrong with people?

Spencer and Heidi burn divorce papers

Ugh, of course they would!



Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have played out their entire "break up" in front of the cameras, so it only makes sense that they would make a public spectacle over calling off their divorce.



Heidi, in a sundress that is only being held up by the medicine balls on her chest, and Spencer, still grieving the loss of his facial bush, roasted their divorce papers over the campfire last night.

[via Us Weekly]

So not cool.  They could have been a friend to the environment and recycled the papers instead...

Spencer Pratt shaves his beard

First of all you're Spencer Pratt, not Brad Pitt.  Your beard is nowhere on the same level as newsworthy as his...



But here he is anyway in an over-the-top, dramatic, try-hard, not even funny beard shaving video on YouTube:







Yeah...  Get a job.  You have too much time on your hands...

Spencer and Heidi smooching

I guess the divorce is officially off now!  After filing to "end" their marriage, "reuniting" in Costa Rica, and "bonding" over an airport arrest...  Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have reconciled for her 24th birthday back in Santa Barbara.



Here's the photographic proof of Heidi's frozen lips tangled in Spencer's jungle beard (via People):

So beautiful...