Rebecca Black took back 'Friday'

Even though it had been viewed like 6.5 billion times on YouTube or something ridiculous... yes, everyone in the world has seen it. EVERYONE... Rebecca Black issued a "take down" notice for the video that made her an internet-name. "It'ssss Friday, Friday..."

TMZ reports after those perverts at Ark Music Factory recently switched the "Friday" video to a $2.99 YouTube rental, Beckster got pissed and demanded it be pulled. How dare they charge us for simply looking forward to the weekend, weekend? I haven't felt so ripped off since I was deciding which seat to take and then the seat I finally decided on was suddenly taken.



But just in time for Friday, Friday, the vid was reposted for free viewing under a "Rebecca Black on Vevo" account. But once again, according to Mashable, it has been pulled because that was a fake!



WHAT THE FUCK, can we not just get down on Friday anymore?!

LiLo's ankle bracelet goes off

Investigators showed up to Lindsay Lohan's house this week after her electronic ankle monitoring bracelet went off and alerted authorities that she had fucked off somewhere. Turns out though, that ankle bracelet was a DIRTY LIAR.



The L.A. Times reports when they arrived to LiLo's "prison", she was just relaxing, laying out in the sun on her rooftop patio all like, "Oh hey guys! What are you doing here? Hehe..." *stretch* *yawn* *smile*

So once it was determined that thing on her ankle was a piece of shit, officials replaced it the next day with a new one that won't waste their time. However, probation people are allowed to barge into her house anytime they want to make sure she's not breaking any rules --which there aren't too many of in the first place.



While on house arrest for 35 days, Linds is allowed to have as many visitors as she wants. But she could also be subject to random alcohol and drug testing at any time. That's where she will screw this up if she does happen to screw this up. Either that, or she'll leave her house a day early and go, "What? Close enough!"



So far, Lindsay has been spending her days watching movies on her 3D-TV (hard life), reading scripts (movies on paper), and of course, thinking about what she's done... NOT.



I just LOVE how she keeps posing on her lounging chair "reading scripts" as if she has the option to make any movie she wants when she busts out of her house...

Speidi going after Sparah

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are pissed at Virgin Mobile for stealing their act.

TMZ reports the former stars of The Hills are demanding the cell phone company pay them off to continue their 'Sparah' campaign-- a.k.a.-- a fictional manufactured couple named Spencer and Sarah. It's blatantly obvious who they were inspired by, yes. And Virgin didn't even try to rack their brains to come up with a different name other than Spencer! Bahaha...







It's funny though!



And we should all be suing Virgin for putting Speidi back in the news...

Lindsay Lohan begins house arrest

Lindsay Lohan is confined to her home for the next 35 days since beginning her probation violation sentence today.

People reports the actress surrendered to jail at 5:02 this morning where she was fitted for like her 27th electronic ankle monitoring bracelet. An hour later, LiLo was on her way back to her Venice townhouse to take one-legged baths, watch a shitload of movies, order Chinese food, and oh yeah, have as many people over as she pleases. PARTY TIME.



Yes, she can really party because the ankle bracelet is just to alert authorities if she busts out the house, but it won't rat her out if she decides to drink or do drugs. So like I said... Party at Lohan's!



How is being under house arrest so chill? I've been grounded worse than this!

Bachelorette contestant West has been through some shit

Pretty much, if you end up as a contestant on The Bachelor or Bachelorette, everything in your past is fair game when it comes to the tabloids. They'll post photos of your days as a Hooters waitress, judge the fuck out of your face pre-nose job, and interview anyone and everyone who has ever diddled you, texted you, or met you at a party once.

Usually what they dig up is just "meh" shit. Nothing that will ruin your life, it might screw with your current relationship if you end up getting picked in the end, but it's never anything too serious. Until now.

The reports coming out about this season's West Lee and the circumstances of his wife's death is crazy sad-- and some believe shady too. According to People, his mother-in-law refuses to believe he didn't have something to do with it. A rep from the police department who investigated the case says, "Her mom voiced concern about the cause of death, but we looked into the case a second time," adding, "There was no physical evidence on scene that suggested Sarah Young's death was a homicide by Adam West Lee." (Hehe, Adam West. Sorry...)

In 2007, West's wife was found dead in their bathtub. Even though her death was ruled an accidental fresh water drowning, they still aren't sure if she purposely tried to kill herself. The coroner discovered she had marijuana and alcohol in her system, she had been very depressed, and had even been caught inhaling computer dusting spray two weeks earlier. Sarah had sadly attempted suicide twice before as well as getting into a few minor car accidents over a short period of time which prompted her family to seek medical help for her. Majorly heartbreaking.

On the season premiere of Ashley Hebert's Bachelorette last night, West brought up his wife of seven years explaining, "She had this history of seizures. One day she went and got in the bathtub. I checked on her and I found her face down in the tub. [I] pulled her out and I called 911."

Here comes the part where you roll your eyes though... W also admitted to law enforcement he was high as well at the time of her death. That obviously doesn't mean he killed her, and who knows if the outcome would have been any different had he been sober? Clearly, the girl had issues. It's just seriously tragic.

But even though the case is closed, I bet West-side is stoked that this is all coming out in the media now and causing doubt upon himself... But, really, he had to know it was coming after going on this show. He must reeeeally want to find love again, get engaged, break up, become the next Bachelor, find love, get engaged, break up...

Botox mom says she made it all up

Oh now she says she wasn't telling the truth. You got me all worked up for nothing, bitch?!

Now that Botox mom, a.k.a. Kerry Campbell, now revealed as Sheena Upton lost custody of her daughter Britney (if that is her real name) for bragging about injecting her with botox... she's pulled a complete 180 on her story and says she lied for money. You just keep looking stupider and stupider, lady.



TMZ reports Sheena claims to have accepted $200 after being approached by UK tabloid The Sun to play a role in a story they wanted to run called "I Give My 8-Year-Old Daughter Botox." You sold out for a wimpy two hundred bones?? Sheena explains that after her fabricated article gained so much publicity, she was then asked to appear on camera for both Good Morning America and Inside Edition for much more cash. Rumor has it GMA paid her $10,000. Still, you can't buy dignity with that, Sheens.



She swears in a written declaration, "The truth is I have never given my daughter Botox, nor allowed her to get any type of waxing, nor is she a beauty pageant contestant." OK so was it opposite day? I wasn't aware. She now has her daughter back with her, but a cousin is forced to live with them as well... Keep a drooping botoxed eye on things.

Good Morning America says Upton's rapidly changing story is shady as hell and they had questioned members of her family and other sources who stood by the original botoxy mess.



And The Sun is denying (via TMZ) this takesies backsies as well saying they only printed the feature after a reporter witnessed the mother inject her child in the face with botox. Now they're considering suing Sheena's ass for making them look irreputable. Well-- I mean they are a tabloid but... How are we ever supposed to know if she's lying now or was lying then?



Either way, you're deceitful. Does little Britney need to read you the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" or what?

Botox mom loses custody

Think of the ultimate Toddlers & Tiaras nightmare story... now imagine worse.



Some dumb bitch named Kerry Campbell told Good Morning America last week that she is trying to preserve her 8-year-old pageant participating daughter's face by injecting her with botox, herself. Yes, she does this herself. Kerry thinks the natural lines on little Britney's face are wrinkles... yeah... this is what we're dealing with. This just in: THEY'RE NOT WRINKLES! And even if they were, you don't take reversing them into your own hands!

There are so many things wrong with forcing a young girl to get cosmetic treatments as harsh as botox. Sure, it's "safe"... FOR ADULTS. And an adult is free to freeze their face all they want, go at it all day, who cares! An adult can research it, research doctors and clinics, then come up with a rational decision whether or not to have it done. But planting the idea in your child's head that she NEEDS it (for her wrinkles?? What wrinkles??) is sickening.



Not only is it potentially dangerous to administer botox to a young girl, the message it sends her is so, so damaging to her self-confidence.



Needles are terrifying enough for kids (and adults --hellooo so scared of needles) as it is. There are some children who have medical issues such as diabetes who are forced to have daily injections, and it's absolutely heart breaking. Or think of a sick child who is hospitalized and hooked up to an IV, a needle stuck in their arm 24/7.  So to unnecessarily stick a needle in a child's FACE, no less, is traumatizing! And Britney says her botox procedures hurt her. Well DUHH!

It's not a shocker that the FDA has not approved botox for cosmetic purposes in children. One doctor says sometimes botox is used to correct crossed eyes or in extreme cases, ease the suffering of neurological disorders. But it should NEVER be used for any other reason, and it's not a "do-it-yourself" project. Dr. Richard Besser explains, "If you inject it in the face and it drifts to your throat, it can prevent you from swallowing. If it drifts to your breathing muscles, you can stop breathing. In a young child, if you're chronically using it on the face, it may actually change the shape of your face because your muscles interact with your bones to form what your face eventually looks like."



I bet you didn't take that into consideration Kerry. And clearly she hasn't done her homework when it comes to waxing either. In addition to botox, she also straight up waxes Britney's legs because she thinks it will reduce her hair growth later. An 8-year-old has nothing but peach fuzz, and waxing will only make her scream. And guess what?? We all had to learn how to shave our legs once we were old enough, it's part of growing up. We're not suffering because of it.



As for the psychological side of all this, you're basically telling your daughter she isn't pretty enough. She's going to be obsessed with her face her entire life and focus on all the superficial things. Young girls are typically very self-concious about their looks especially at the age where they hit puberty and everything is changing. Even if she grows up to be drop dead gorgeous, she will still find things wrong with herself and never see her true beauty. Telling her it's okay to get botox opens the door to eventually getting plastic surgery and drastically altering all of her features.



Oh but if she wins a pageant or two, who cares right? And if she becomes famous, she won't have problems... Nope! Lindsay Lohan doesn't have problems, Britney Spears doesn't have problems, Michael Jackson didn't have problems... Get your fucking priorities straight.



Thankfully, ABC News reports Britney has been temporarily removed from Kerry's home while child protective services launches an investigation. It doesn't mean she's lost custody forever but hopefully it's shaken her up enough to realize she's not a good mom! I don't care if it's a "pageant secret" like you say. It doesn't make it right, stupid. What's that cliche saying? "If everyone else jumped off a bridge...??"



But I bet the only thing she regrets is bragging to the world about it...

Lindsay escapes jail

No Lindsay Lohan didn't tattoo up her whole body with blueprints, hold the warden at knifepoint and escape maximum security with 7 other convicts in a crazy premeditated plan all Prison Break styles (sorry, I JUST got into that show thanks to Netflix. What's up 2005)... but she has AVOIDED time behind bars.

TMZ reports the actress pleaded no contest to misdemeanor theft of that necklace from a jewelry store today in court through her lawyer. The judge was like, "Okay fine, I'm so over this. Tell LiLo she can slap on a new piece of jewelry called an ankle monitoring bracelet and serve some time at home and think about what she did!"



It comes down to this... Lindsay was sentenced to 120 days in jail for violating her probation but she did not get any additional time for theft. She's not considered a serious criminal so she gets to play at home for 14 days instead of 120 and just like that, she's off the hook!



BUT she still has to complete her community service (but not while she's grounded), go through psychological counseling (because obviously rehab isn't working), and take a shoplifters class-- that's NOT a class to learn how to shoplift better.



Linds is also on 3 more years of probation. Oh my God, just stay home for 3 years!

Antoine Dodson arrested

Well. Obviously we have a pothead in Lincoln Park. He's climbin' in yo windows, he's snatchin' yo marijuana up tryna smoke em, so ya'll need to hide yo weed, hide yo bong, and hide yo lighters, cuz they be smokin' errthin' out here!



In case you JUST got the internet, there's this guy named Antoine Dodson. He was the Rebecca Black of 2010, but he didn't try so hard to become a YouTube star. He was all over trying not to let his 15 minutes of fame end AFTER that, but before that he was just some guy who unintentionally managed to make a near rape story hilarious on the news... and then he got remixed!







TMZ reports Antoine got his ass arrested this weekend for marijuana possession, failing to appear on two previous traffic charges, failing to have insurance, and speeding. Antoine, you are so dumb. You are really dumb. Didn't you know, they gon' find you??

Sadly, his sister's attacker is probably still running free rapin' errbody out here.

Lindsay Lohan went to jail this weekend

Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 120 days in jail this weekend for violating her probation (this shit is still all about that fugly necklace which she hasn't even been found guilty of stealing yet). People reports the actress spent about 4 hours in custody before posting $75,000 bail and she plans to appeal.

LiLo was also sentenced to 480 hours of community service in which 360 will be spent as a janitor at the Downtown Women's Center in L.A. with the remaining 120 at the L.A. County Morgue. FUN TIMES.

After watching a surveillance video of Lindsay in the jewelry store back in January, the judge believes Lindsay used her friend to distract the store owner so she could leave with the necklace. It's not even a cool necklace! According to TMZ, the judge also says she should have notified the store way earlier that she had their overpriced junk instead of waiting til the police were on their way to raid her house. Therefore, the judge ruled she violated her probation (from all those DUIs).

On June 3, her trial will begin where she will face an additional year behind bars, but the charges of felony grand theft have now been reduced to a misdemeanor. Because that necklace SUCKS in case you didn't know. But it's still wrong to steal ugly things...

Charlie takes Brooke to court

After that little crack attack last week, Brooke Mueller decided to check herself back into rehab. This was the motivation for Charlie Sheen to go for full custody of their twin sons. However, the judge denied him today.

TMZ reports the custody agreement will stay the same for the time being. He probably knows that Brooke is on drugs but somehow, Charlie is still a worse parent. You know what that means, living with Grandma!



Brooke's mom will probably end up raising these kids... SAD.

Nicolas Cage arrested for being a dumbass

I guess the way Nicolas Cage acts in movies is the way he acts in real life. Like a drunken, belligerent, asshole:







TMZ reports the actor was arrested this weekend for domestic abuse and disturbing the peace.



I guess what happened was Cagey got so drunk in New Orleans (where he is filming a movie) that he couldn't remember where he was staying. When his wife tried to reassure him that she knew their rental address, he didn't believe her or thought she was stupid or some shit. From there, Nic instigated a loud, public argument which resulted in his own arrest. But not before daring the police to arrest him.



You just can't be that stupid. You never dare the police to arrest you just like you never dare Donald Trump to fire you or dare a serial killer to murder you.

[the sexy mugshot]

Rumor has it, if his loud noises on the street didn't catch the attention of police, him aggressively grabbing Mrs. Cage by the arm to show her where he really thought they lived did. (She denies any abuse.) Nicolas also hit a bunch of parked cars and then not so subtly tried to stumble into a cab. When the cops ordered him out and told him to go home, that's when he screamed, "NO! I wanna go with you instead!!"



According to the website, he's now out on $11,000 bail posted by Dog Chapman, The Bounty Hunter himself, so don't fucking run unless you want to get your ass tracked down and beat on A&E.



This all could have been avoided if Nicolas Cage had just been wearing one of those t-shirts that says: "If you find me, please take me to (insert address here)!"

LeBron's mama sued

Gloria James is getting sued for smacking a valet attendant earlier this month.



TMZ reports Rockfeller Sorel has filed an assault and battery lawsuit, but now that the video surveillance has been leaked, I'm pretty sure LeBron won't be needing to reach his large arms into his deep pockets to lend his moms any money to pay this whiner off...







Dude clearly was the aggressor and pushed her first.  So I guess now Gloria has to take his ass to court and smack the smug off his face.



Actually I have no idea what really happened there, the video footage is grainy as hell.  Isn't it 2011, don't we have HD cameras now??

LeBron's mom arrested for bitch-slapping

Gloria James, a.k.a. LeBron's mother, was arrested in Miami Beach this morning for smacking a valet attendant.  You shouldn't dooo thattt.

The NBA mama was partying at a hotel nightclub and when she stumbled to get her car (to drive drunk, smart), she thought it was taking too long to retrieve it so she open-slapped the employee across the face.  Okay Naomi Campbell...



TMZ reports the way it went down was the valet got the car, Gloria was have drunken chats with people for 30 minutes so he eventually turned the car off.  Idling is not cool for the planet.  Then all of a sudden G was like, "Yo, where the fuck my keys?" and slapped the guy.  As she slapped him, she fell on her ass as non-sober people tend to do.  The call to police came in at 4:47AM.  Nice.  When the cops rolled up to question her she said, "I don't trust your kind."  HAHA, cuz their "kind" busted her ass for a DUI in 2006.



She was arrested, charged with simple battery and disorderly intoxication, then released.



LeBron has made a statement on Gloria's dumbassness telling reporters (via TMZ), "You have to move forward ... It is my life and there’s certain things you have to deal with. You try not to let it be a distraction. I have a job to do, still."  Adding, "It’s very sensitive because it’s your mother. Of course to have an incident, it’s very sensitive. But the people around me are helping me."



But what he really meant to say was, "SIT YO ASS DOWN!"

Bret Michaels is suing over his near-fatal brain hemorrhage

Bret Michaels blames the 2009 Tony Awards for his brain hemorrhage last year and is now suing them and CBS.



This is the on-stage accident he claims led up to his head injury resulting in him almost dying 6 months later:







TMZ reports Bret insists the producers of the show did not instruct him on how to safely exit the stage following his performance. The lawsuit filed reads, "One of the most common causes of this type of hemorrhage is head trauma -- exactly like the one Michaels suffered at the hands of the Tony Awards."



However, the Tonys are saying, "Pffft, you missed your mark, bro."



Still, it's a workplace injury.  You gonna lose, Tony... whoever you are.

Teen Mom arrested for fighting video

Oh this Jenelle Evans is really a gem.  She makes Amber Portwood from the original Teen Mom look like a saint...

Jenelle was featured in season 2 of 16 & Pregnant when she had her baby in August 2009.  Somehow, despite her disgusting behaviour and completely unlikable personality, Jenelle made it to the Teen Mom 2 spinoff.



Probably the worst mother this show has seen yet, the now 19-year-old lost custody of her son Jace to her own mother Barbara last year.  Seemingly unfazed by this, Jenelle continued acting like a fuckup... Examples: stealing her mom's credit cards, getting high, being arrested for possession of marijuana, etc.



TMZ reports she's now she's been arrested again, this time for assault.

On Friday, the website posted an absolutely revolting video of Jenelle mouthing off and then beating up a "friend" named Britany.  I won't even repost it here because it sickens me, but in the footage you can see the reality "star" making this girl bleed and not letting up when it's clear she's unable to defend herself.  Plus her repulsive friends are encouraging this all, one even pushing her into Britany to get things started.



It all went down in FRONT of Britany's house which Jenelle was apparently invited to.  Oh, what a nice guest... She supposedly jumped B over a dude, Keiffer, who is featured in Teen Mom 2.

[Keiffer is Jenelle's boyfriend but not Jace's dad.  The baby-daddy would be her ex-boyfriend Andrew who has been to jail (and may still even be there) himself.  You see, this girl has a GREAT track record.]



Some of the instigators and witnesses of the fight have been arrested too... but TMZ says so did the victim Britany??  This is so fucked up.  In a statement, Jenelle's lawyer says he believes his poor, poor client was setup.  OKAY.



Put this filthy trick where she belongs... in a dirty jail cell where she can soon learn how it feels to get her ass kicked relentlessly.

Lindsay Lohan going to trial

It's a risky move but Lindsay Lohan is adamant that she's innocent in her felony grand theft case therefore, TMZ reports, she will NOT be taking any plea deals.

If she had taken the offered plea deal today, she would have been sentenced to 3 months in jail which would have equaled about 19 days total due to overcrowding.  However, now that she's going on trial she could either get off with nothing... OR a lot of time behind bars.



Here's the thing.  If Lindsay if found guilty she'll also be found in violation of her current probation which will result in added time in jail on top of felony prison time.  And the judge could toss her in jail before her trial even begins!  But then again, she could wait to see if LiLo is actually guilty.  Waiting would be the fair thing...



The first hearing is set for April 22.  I still think this is nuts... she KNEW the store owner.  She tried on the necklace in plain sight while chatting them up and walked out of the store visibly wearing it... I still think it was lent to her, and not shoplifting.  Now this store owner is said to be hawking a book deal about the whole thing.  You can't say this isn't shady.



What is shady though, is her father's newest legal problem... his charge of domestic violence has now been reduced to a misdemeanor with $30,000 bail.  But Michael Lohan is saying (via TMZ) it was his ex-girlfriend who assaulted HIM.  He's pretty much turning everything Kate Major has accused him of and going, "Nooo. You did that to ME. Youuu did! I know you are but what am I??"



It's funny how unsuccessfully manipulative he tries to be.  Michael, you're not smart enough to be an actual conniving person.



He also used this opportunity to drag his daughter's name into this, weeping that Kate stole some clothes he bought for Lindsay in the process of "beating" him or whatever... Oh yeah, what every 24-year-old woman wants... her dad picking out her outfits.  Especially an old guy who wears tank tops tucked into his pants with a cell phone holstered to his belt.  The epitome of uncool dad style.

Even if we believed him, nobody would be on his side anyway.

Lohan arrested... Michael that is

Lindsay Lohan's dad Michael Lohan has been arrested for domestic violence after a psychotic sounding incident with his ex-girlfriend Monday night.

[this is not even a new mugshot]

TMZ reports Kate Major stopped by their old apartment to pick up some of her stuff and he was all pissed that she was leaving him for good.  I'm guessing he was probably holding her personal items hostage at first, and when that didn't work, he tossed her around the room.  Yeah, that makes a girl want to stay!!



Once she threatened to call the police, he choked her with a towel like a professional murderer or some shit... Then he turned into an emo teenager and threatened to cut himself with a razor blade.  Such a turn on.

After Kate got away, she went to the cops with visible injuries so they rightfully arrested Michael's ass and charged him with three felonies which are inflicting corporal injury on a co-habitant, false imprisonment, and preventing the report of victimization.  You're DONE.



But in a twist of events, Michael had some acid reflux or whatever because he complained of chest pains and got sent to the hospital. Upon his release he'll be sent for booking and his bail has been set at $200,000.



Meanwhile, his daughter Lindsay is due in court Wednesday to let the judge know whether she'll accept a plea deal, which includes jail time, or risk even more jail time and go on trial for her necklace snatching case. THIS FAMILY... I can't.

New Mel Gibson mugshot

After all this drama with his ex Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson was only given 3 years probation and sentenced to counselling.  That'll teach him!



The actor did plead no contest to misdemeanor battery, but I guess that doesn't mean he's admitting he's a violent lunatic or whatever.  However, I can't UNHEAR those recorded phone calls and I'm pretty sure he is one.



Here's Mel looking like a "glum cunt" in his new mugshot, which was required of him by the judge.

Charlie Sheen's 20/20 quotes

Charlie Sheen's hour long interview with 20/20 aired last night.

At this point, he's a living one-liner.  Here are his best/delusional quotes from the ABC news program:

If he's on drugs: "I am on a drug it's called Charlie Sheen!"

On his father Martin Sheen: "I don't care if he's my Dad, back off with your judgement!"

Why he's taken so many drugs: "I have one speed, I have one gear... GO!"

How he survives all the drugs: "I've got tiger blood, man."

On his insomnia: "Sleep is for infants."

On his two "goddesses"/girlfriends: "Maybe the three of us will get married, OH now it's a polygamy story!"

The lesson he's teaching his sons: "Hey kids, your Dad is a rockstar!"

Speaking in third person, why his daughters need him, "He signs all the checks on the front, not the back."

How much he's suing Two and a Half Men honchos for: "All your toupees!"

If he's bi-polar: "I'm bi-WINNING."

His plans for the future: "Just winning. Everyday."

What his tombstone will say: "Something dot com."

In other Charlie Sheen news...

• He's on Twitter.


• TMZ reports his ex-wife Brooke Mueller has gotten a temporary restraining order banning him from coming within 100 yards of her.


• Also, their twin boys have been taken from his custody after he allegedly threatened her life.


• Brooke has a supposed anti-Semetic text message sent from Charlie, which he denies.  He claims she stole his phone and fabricated it. (via TMZ)


• Brooke also claims that Charlie wanted some child support money back to put a hit out on some of his associates and shave ex-wife Denise Richards' hair off.  (according to TMZ)


• Charlie calls Brooke's statements "a friggen lie" and wants to challenge her to a drug test.  She says she's working on her sobriety in a day program.  (People)

Is that it for today??  WINNING.