2011 MTV Movie Awards - winners

So the MTV Movie Awards went down over the weekend, and once again, The Twilight Saga dominated. Eclipse won five awards and made it clear that pretty much no other film, movie, actor, or actress has a chance until after Breaking Dawn Part II.

But, it wasn't only vampires, werewolves, and girls who are in love with vampires and werewolves who won awards... In fact, it was pretty difficult to tell who would take home popcorn trophies outside of Twilight-nominated categories.



Here's the complete list of winners:



BEST MALE PERFORMANCE

Robert Pattinson

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse



BEST VILLIAN

Tom Felton

Harry Potter: Deathly Hollows Part 1



BEST JAW DROPPING MOMENT

Justin Bieber

Never Say Never



BIGGEST BADASS STAR WINNER

Chloe Grace Moretz

Kick Ass



BEST BREAKOUT STAR

Chloe Grace Moretz



BEST FIGHT

Robert Pattinson vs. Bryce Dallas Howard vs. Xavier Samuel

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse



BEST KISS

Robert Pattinson/ Kristen Stewart

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse



MTV GENERATION

Reese Witherspoon



BEST LINE FROM A MOVIE

“I want to get chocolate wasted”

Alexys Nycole Sanchez



BEST SCARED-AS-SH*T

Ellen Page

Inception



BEST FEMALE PERFORMANCE

Kristen Stewart

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse



BEST MOVIE

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse



—



And also... this happened:

Biebz got his ears pierced!! Biebz got his ears pierced!!



If you take them out right away the holes will grow in, just FYI...

Kirstie Alley loses Dancing With The Stars

What gives? I didn't watch this season of Dancing With The Stars yet I was still attached to the possible outcome of Kirstie Alley winning the damn thing. For all the cougars!!



Instead, in a horrible, horrible mistake (I'm kidding, don't send your Grandma after me), NFL player Hines Ward was given the sparkly disco ball they call a trophy. I'm sure he deserved it and I'm sure he can definitely bust a move and everything. It's just totally not fair though because he has all that practice with victory dances in football...

And in the end, Kirstie says she like felt she's a winner too or whatever. The 60-year-old actress tweets, "don't be upset about us not winning for long.... I won so much in the last 13 weeks that it would take hours to convey...LOVE." Yes, she won a smaller booty but I'm sure she's talking about her deeeeep friendship with Maksim Chmerkovskiy.



P.S. Charlie Sheen better be on the next season of DWTS.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Maxim's #1

When you replace Megan Fox in Transformers 3, you automatically get shot to the top of the annual Maxim HOT 100 list.

Victoria's Secret model / actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has been named #1 this year despite the fact that Transformers: The Dark of the Moon hasn't even opened yet and she does not say one word in the trailer:







But this list is based on hotness, remember. Those boys wouldn't hear a damn word she said anyway!

Rebecca Black is getting rich

Rebecca Black's mother coughed up $2,000 for her daughter to sing a fool with the recording of "Friday", RISKY because who would have thought that thing would have actually taken off, but her investment is certainly paying off...

Forbes is reporting the 13-year-old "singer" is on her way to becoming a millionaire while you're going broke trying to Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind that song out of your head forever.



Apparently with $0.70 profit from each download on iTunes (yes people are actually buying it, and not just her friends and family), Rebecca and Ark Music Factory have made anywhere from $70,000 to $700,000 so far.  Plus, YouTube pays out 63% of a dollar for every thousand hits or something, which means you can add almost another $25,000 on top of it, and counting... Girl has over 36 million views for "Friday" at this second.



The saddest thing ever would be if Ark was hoarding all this coin from Rebecca because of a crazy contract she signed before blowing up or some shit... They can't be that evil right?  They'd be nothing without her!  Cuz she be "kickin' in the front seat" and they be "sittin' in the back seat."

RAZZIE 'winners'

While the best movies of the year were getting prestigious awards this weekend at the Oscars, the worst were racking up Razzies…



The 31st annual Golden Raspberry Awards went down, as tradition has it, the night before the Oscars… with The Last Airbender and Sex & The City 2 receiving the most “wins”…

• ‘Worst Picture’: The Last Airbender.


• ‘Worst Actor’: Ashton Kutcher for Killers and Valentine’s Day.


• ‘Worst Actress’: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon for Sex & The City 2.


• ‘Worst Supporting Actor’: Jackson Rathbone for The Last Airbender and Twilight Saga: Eclipse.


• ‘Worst Supporting Actress’: Jessica Alba for The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine’s Day.


• ‘Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3-D’: The Last Airbender.


• ‘Worst Screen Couple/Screen Ensemble’: The entire cast of Sex & The City 2.


• ‘Worst Screenplay’: The Last Airbender.


• ‘Worst Director’: M. Night Shyamalan for The Last Airbender.


• ‘Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel’: Sex & The City 2.

Skimming through the list of “winners” (a.k.a. losers) of the Razzies reminds me of skimming through the list of movies available on Netflix.

Oscars 2011

The 83rd annual Academy Awards went down last night with hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco.

Winners:



The King's Speech, 4: ‘Best Picture’, ‘Writing (Original Screenplay)’, ‘Directing’, and ‘Actor In A Leading Role’ (to Colin Firth)



Inception, 4: ‘Cinematography’, ‘Sound Editing’, ‘Sound Mixing’, and ‘Visual Effects’.



The Social Network, 3: ‘Music (Original Score)’, ‘Film Editing’, and ‘Writing (Adapted Screenplay)’.



Toy Story 3, Alice In Wonderland, and The Fighter all took home 2 Oscars each (including Melissa “F-bomb” Leo and Christian Bale for both ‘Supporting Role’ awards). While Natalie Portman earned Black Swan one for ‘Actress In A Leading Role’.







Highlights:

• Anne Hathaway and James Franco's opening skit.  "You just got Inceptioned!"


• More than half of Anne's outfits.


• Kirk Douglas eating up half of the show to present one award... He's pretty fly for an old guy.


• Melissa Leo dropping the FUCK word and me being able to hear it loud and clear thanks to the lack of delay on the channel I was on.


• Justin Timberlake on stage joking, "I'm Bansky!", the anonymous graffiti artist nominated in the 'Documentary' category, but lost.


• Russell Brand translating Helen Mirren.


• Auto-tuning the movies.  You know it's the future.


• Christian Bale and his bushy beard seemingly forgetting his wife's name.


• Sandra Bullock calling Jeff Bridges an award hoarder.  Seriously, she saved the day.

Lowlights:

• Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem in matching white tuxes and not even explaining why... WHY?


• Reese Witherspoon's hair clip... So grade 8.


• Cate Blanchett's lavandar bubble dress with green barf stains.


• Jude Law and his hairline Ricky Gervais'ing Robert Downey Jr.


• Gwyneth Paltrow's "performance" with her white microphone.  And if you never did that again, that would be great.


• Corey Haim not making the 'In Memoriam' segment.  What the fuhhh?


• Tom Hooper's side screen shot while accepting his Director award.  That is just MEAN.


• Anne Hathaway turning into a "woo" girl.  "WOOOOO!!!"  One "woo" too many, girl.


• Everything about James Franco past the opening skit.

53rd annual Grammys

Here's what happened in the 3-and-a-half-hours of the Grammys last night...

Lady Gaga came out of an egg on stage, Cee Lo Green gave her a run for her money in the costume department, Bob Dylan scared the hell out of everyone, Lady Antebellum won a shit ton of awards,  and Eminem only won 2/10 Grammys so he needed "a doctor" and Dr. Dre hit the stage.



One of the biggest upsets of the night, however, had to be when seemingly random Esperanza Spalding beat out Justin Bieber, Drake, Florence & The Machine, and Mumford & Sons in the 'Best New Artist' category.

Unless your a jazz fan, everyone was like "Who the hell??"  Beliebers haven't been this mad since Selena Gomez started dating their obsession.  Rap fans were clearly rooting for Drizzy.  As for Florence & The Machine... everyone and their DOG has heard "Dog Days Are Over" (thanks Glee).  And listening to Mumford & Sons makes you feel like you're having the chillest night at a pub with your friends and unlimited beer.  Yep, totally worthy.



All of 'Best New Artist' nominees were asked to perform at the Grammys last night too, except for the girl who actually won.  That's a little odd.  "Hi! You win! But please don't bore us with your slap bass..."



But after YouTubing Esperanza, there's no question the girl has talent... she's even performed for President Obama:







Apparently though, she already has three albums out.  Oh the Grammys --always so ahead of the curve!  Ex: as much as I love Jay-Z (LOVE...), why "Empire State Of Mind" and "On To The Next One" is taking home awards in 2011 after being released in 2009 I'll never understand.  (Full list of winners HERE)



Anyway, I don't think J-Biebz, Drake, Florence, or Mumford will lose their careers over this award.  I'm sure they'll go on to win many others... And maybe your great aunt will check out Esperanza's CD instead.  YAY everybody wins!  Sort of...

Jennifer Grey wins DWTS season 11

It was down to Jennifer Grey, Kyle Massey, and Bristol Palin on the Dancing With The Stars finale last night... and it was the Dirty Dancing actress who was named the winner.

Grey was definitely the early favorite, but with viewers keeping the much less talented Bristol Palin in the running week after week, some were nervous she would win it all.  It even got to the point where the "teen activist" was getting sent death threats.  It's a TV SHOW you freaks!!



Listen, you may not like Bristol but if she did win I was prepared to write this:

People were upset last year when Nicole Scherzinger won DWTS last season because they thought she had an unfair advantage... that being that she is the lead singer in the group the Pussycat Dolls who DANCE just as much as they sing.  But now people are upset that Bristol Palin, a girl with NO dance experience improved little by little each week to win it??



Isn't that what Dancing With The Stars is about??  It's not Dancing With The Professional Dancers for a reason...

That said, of course now we know that Bristol didn't end up winning... she got third place instead.  And yes it WAS fair she made it that far.  Even if you thought someone else who was eliminated before her deserved it more, their sorry asses didn't get the votes!  That's half the battle.  It's just as much a popularity contest as it is a dancing contest.  I guess it's just that nobody thought Bristol Palin was that popular ha ha.

And I DO think even with Jennifer Grey's dance history, it was still fair she was voted the winner this season... because Dirty Dancing was back in 1987, yo.  Listen, I was a competitive dancer growing up and even taught dance up until 4 years ago... Now, since I haven't practiced in years, I've definitely lost my skill.  It's like anything else, you need to keep it up.  So yes, Jennifer Grey HAD danced before, but she wasn't walking into this competition as Baby fresh off the Swayze lift, mkay?

Okay now get on with your life!  Until Dancing With The Stars returns in like half a second...

Hayden wins Big Brother 12

After being trapped in a house for 75 days and knocking off 11 other houseguests, Hayden and Lane made it to the final 2 of Big Brother last night...  And a 4-3 vote by the jury (7 evicted contestants) decided 24-year-old Hayden would walk away with the half-million grand prize.

Lane won $50,000 for second place.  Enzo, who placed third, didn't win shit.  And fourth-place Britney was voted favorite houseguest and got $25,000.  Yay for replacing torched personal belongings!



The part of the Big Brother finale that pisses me off every year is that once they announce the winner, the show is over and you never hear from any of them again.  Unless they get arrested for dealing drugs or beat up their girlfriend or something...



So if you're curious to find out what Haley Joel Osment's long-lost brother has to say for himself after winning 500 G's, watch the video below:







Look, I don't know why it's fucking like that... Obviously their "embed" button is busted.  Click HERE to watch it on The Early Show website.