Kim Kardashian's song 'Jam'

Please don't tell me this song will shoot straight to #1 on iTunes...

Kim Kardashian's new song "Jam", produced by The-Dream, premiered on On-Air with Ryan Seacrest this morning.  Get ready for mediocrity!

Just no fluctuation in her voice.  My singing voice doesn't have range either, but you don't see me recording music and selling it!!  I'm a little disappointed in The-Dream, but I guess he did the best he could with what he was working with...

Anyway, according to Kim's blog, a portion of the proceeds will be donated to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital.  A PORTION.  That better be a very large portion.

Dancing With The Stars season 12 cast

Dancing With The Stars has revealed their season 12 cast... It includes some of the least famous people I can think of.

• Chelsea Kane: a Disney ho who isn't Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato or Selena Gomez.


• Chris Jericho: a WWF (WWE) wrestler from the late 90's/early 2000's who has actually smelled what The Rock was cooking.  Example.  And yes, he's cut his hair since...


• Hines Ward: an NFL player who is on that "Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow, Black and Yellow" team.


• Kendra Wilkinson: Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend, wife, mother, and has the worst intro to a reality show ever.  See?


• Kirstie Alley: actress from Cheers, Look Who's Talking, It Takes Two, Veronica's Closet, etc.  No longer Jenny Craig's bitch.


• Mike Catherwood: Dr. Drew's bitch... well, his radio co-host on Loveline.


• Petra Nemcova: supermodel and a do-gooder so it's hard to hate her.


• Ralph Macchio: the Karate Kid who isn't Will Smith's son...


• Romeo: the son of an old school rapper who isn't Will Smith.


• Sugar Ray Leonard: a boxer and sports broadcaster. I won't say anything sassy about him cuz he can kick ass.


• Wendy Williams: BET talk show host... will need the tallest dance partner available.

Season 12 of DWTS premieres Monday, March 21 and I'm so canceling my season pass on TiVo for this losing bunch...

Team Joey Gladstone on this one!

I'm hearing this might be fake but I'm not sure.



If it's real, this interviewer needs some new material because Dave Coulier is RIGHT... "Coulier on Coolio" is NOT funny at all.  And if it's fake, they're both pathetic...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

And work on your Full House facts, bra.  It's JOEY not Uncle Jesse.  HOW RUDE.

Not without LiLo!!

Mean Girls was a well-written, witty movie about how bitchy girls can be to each other in high school.  It was before Lindsay Lohan started messing with her hair (and drugggs)... and although it was NOT her first movie, it was considered to be the start of a promising, award-winning career.



Obviously the sequel wasn't written by Tina Fey though... because this straight-to-DVD mess does NOT look funny at all.  The only returning cast member to Mean Girls 2 seems to be Tim Meadows... shit that's sad.







So no Cady, Regina, Gretchen, Karen, Damien, Janis, badass M.C. Kevin G, Mrs. George, skeez Jason, Trang Pak, Coach Carr, Shane Oman, wideset vagina/heavy flow girl, or girls who don't even go here?  So NOT fetch...

JetBlue guy is a "rapper" now

What the FUCK is it with these people who are famous for like a second and then think that somehow makes them eligible to put out a rap song??  It's insulting to ACTUAL rappers.  Even ones like Soulja Boy...



As if Angelina's "rap" from Jersey Shore wasn't bad enough, the imbalanced JetBlue flight attendant who snapped, Steven Slater, has now jumped on the rap-wagon too.



Behold, the worst thing you'll experience all day... "I'm Steven Slater Bitches":







And to think, people used to admire him...

Jersey Shore's Angelina "rapping"

This is literally the worst thing I've ever heard in my life.



The squawking you're about to hear is Angelina Pivarnick's "rap song" via People.  The Jersey Shore "star" calls it "I'm Hot".  It should actually be called "I'm Fucked In The Head".







OW seriously.  She makes Heidi Montag's music sound like Charlotte Church.  No offense Charlotte Church...

Canada's version of Jersey Shore

Oh my God Toronto, you're embarrassing... check out the upcoming knock-off version of Jersey Shore called Lake Shore.







First of all, why can't we be original?  Clearly you're trying to ride the coattails of Jersey Shore's success by doing it bigger but NOT better.  Instead of celebrating Toronto for it's mix of different cultures, Lake Shore is doing the exact opposite.  This clusterfuck of ignorant twats should be DROPPED in the goddamn lake, NOT getting rewarded with airtime to say dumb shit like this:

Robyn: "People will look up to me." (She let the producer motorboat her in her audition.)

Downtown D: "You can be gay as long as you don't get anywhere near me. You like it in the ass (laughs), take it in the ass brother."

Sibel: "I'm not racist because I hate everybody equally. Especially Jewish people."

It's simple.  There's a fine line between mindless entertainment and straight-up vulgarity.  Jersey Shore pushes the line while Lake Shore is taking a big fat shit on the line.  But what else would you expect from a film company called "THAT GUY" productions?  Seriously...

Dennis Quaid looking sexier than ever

Here's a photo of Dennis Quaid performing and sweating profusely with his band The Sharks in a Beverly Hills nightclub last night (via DListed):

And there are people out there saying Randy Quaid is the crazy one...

Mel Gibson's 'Hangover 2' cameo

Too soon.



Page Six reports Mel Gibson has been cast in a cameo role for the Hangover sequel... UGH.  The rage-hard actor is set to begin filming his cameo in about 2 weeks where he'll play a tattoo artist in Bangkok.

Bradley Cooper, Zack Galifianakis, Ed Helms, and Justin Bartha (hopefully now he'll get more screen time) will all be back for the second film, this time taking a boys trip to Thailand with a "dangerous" stop in Bangkok.  Enter Mel... Ken Jeong, the naked Asian guy from the first movie, will also return to play the badass Mr. Chow.  Wait-- what about Heather Graham?  AND CARLOS!?



Anyway, Mike Tyson's cameo in the first Hangover movie did a lot to help with his image (but it still didn't help me accept his facial tattoo), so Mel Gibson is hoping for the same effect.  Of course he is.

Look, it's one thing for someone like Tom Cruise to do a hilarious cameo to revitalize his career, i.e. Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder... but what did Tom Cruise really do except jump on a couch and declare his love for someone?  Sure he's a little nutty, but he didn't deserve the brutal backlash he received that negatively affected his career...



Mel Gibson, on the other hand, is a racist, being accused of domestic violence, and we all heard his countless heavy-breathing phone calls and voicemails to his baby-mama starring the 'C'-word.  Yeah, I really don't feel like watching his pathetic ass try to make me laugh in what SHOULD BE a hysterical movie.  Hopefully by the time the Hangover 2 comes out, his pathetic ass will belong to inmate #5100281 in federal prison...

Tyra fail

Tyra Banks was obviously trying to start a trend at French Vogue’s 90th Anniversary Party in Paris last night... but if she actually thinks this is going to catch on, bitch be nuts.

The America's Next Top Model host was all proud of herself tweeting this picture of herself with the caption: "So, when I couldn't find a mask for FRENCH VOGUE 90th ANNIVERSARY Masquerade Party, I made my own!" adding, "Can u guess how I made this FRENCH VOGUE party mask??? It's homemade. How did I do it though? Hint: was super cheap."



HINT: nobody fucking cares.

Taylor Momsen is a 'Material Girl'

If I ever started a clothing line, probably the last human being on the planet I would choose as the face of my fashion would be Taylor Momsen.  She makes Courtney Love look like a goddess.  Even raccoons think her eyes look ridiculous.  And she garbage men are constantly mistaking her for trash.



But for some reason, Madonna and her daughter Lourdes snatched 'Little J' by the 10 ft. of crusty piss on her head she calls hair extensions and asked her to promote their "Material Girl" line for Macy's.  And by promote, I mean look as miserable as possible...

Repulsive.  Lourdes should be the face, she's actually cute.  Madonna, how could you let this happen??

Spencer Pratt shaves his beard

First of all you're Spencer Pratt, not Brad Pitt.  Your beard is nowhere on the same level as newsworthy as his...



But here he is anyway in an over-the-top, dramatic, try-hard, not even funny beard shaving video on YouTube:







Yeah...  Get a job.  You have too much time on your hands...