Break up Shmake up

Rumor had it that Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez broke up over the weekend but People has proof they're still together because the two were photographed house shopping. ROOMMATES!

Ugh, so I learned of their supposed split from a broadcaster doing sports highlights and yeah let's just say sports guys should not be talking celebrity couples-- I don't care if one is an athlete. You know it pains them anyway so just don't go there. Leave it to Mario Lopez.



Also, supposedly another dunzo couple Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn were posing for pictures at the Spike TV Guys Choice Awards this weekend, via TMZ, and they don't look like they hate each other either!

So you're saying I SHOULDN'T believe everything I read online??

Blake Lively kept her clothes on

Blake Lively is denying nude photos that have popped up online of her are actually of her...

Either it's some identical look-a-like or some serious photoshop action but the actress released a statement through her rep to US Weekly saying, "The photos of Blake Lively which have just surfaced on various websites including Perez Hilton and Zap2it are 100 percent fake," adding, "Blake has never taken nude photos of herself. Blake will pursue legal action against the publication which initially published these photographs and any other outlets that republish them in any manner."



So you're going to sue THE INTERNET? Good luck with that.

Botox mom says she made it all up

Oh now she says she wasn't telling the truth. You got me all worked up for nothing, bitch?!

Now that Botox mom, a.k.a. Kerry Campbell, now revealed as Sheena Upton lost custody of her daughter Britney (if that is her real name) for bragging about injecting her with botox... she's pulled a complete 180 on her story and says she lied for money. You just keep looking stupider and stupider, lady.



TMZ reports Sheena claims to have accepted $200 after being approached by UK tabloid The Sun to play a role in a story they wanted to run called "I Give My 8-Year-Old Daughter Botox." You sold out for a wimpy two hundred bones?? Sheena explains that after her fabricated article gained so much publicity, she was then asked to appear on camera for both Good Morning America and Inside Edition for much more cash. Rumor has it GMA paid her $10,000. Still, you can't buy dignity with that, Sheens.



She swears in a written declaration, "The truth is I have never given my daughter Botox, nor allowed her to get any type of waxing, nor is she a beauty pageant contestant." OK so was it opposite day? I wasn't aware. She now has her daughter back with her, but a cousin is forced to live with them as well... Keep a drooping botoxed eye on things.

Good Morning America says Upton's rapidly changing story is shady as hell and they had questioned members of her family and other sources who stood by the original botoxy mess.



And The Sun is denying (via TMZ) this takesies backsies as well saying they only printed the feature after a reporter witnessed the mother inject her child in the face with botox. Now they're considering suing Sheena's ass for making them look irreputable. Well-- I mean they are a tabloid but... How are we ever supposed to know if she's lying now or was lying then?



Either way, you're deceitful. Does little Britney need to read you the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" or what?

Vanessa Hudgens is addicted to white chocolate

I guess I know nothing about drugs because some rumors were flying around online this weekend about Vanessa Hudgens doing a hit after pictures of her having a snack at Coachella popped up.



The first thought in my mind was, "LUCKY!! She's got Fun Dip!!"

And then everyone as like, "Pffft, she's such a druggie and she's proud of it." I didn't even know people licked drugs off their fingers??

But it turns out I WAS RIGHT. Sort of. E! News reports V wasn't doing drugs OR Fun Dip, but she was doing white chocolate. That's so sad, eating melted treats off your fingers from a plastic bag...



Don't ever pack chocolate when you're out in the sun silly.

Jeff Timmons is keeping it on

Worst news ever.



Jeff Timmons, formerly of 98 Degrees, says while he has joined the Chippendales in Las Vegas, he won't be stripping.  He's just MC'ing and singing songs.  Borrrring.

He tells TMZ, "The guys don't even strip... they're like trained dancers. The days of your grandma sticking dollar bills in a strippers G-string are over."



Funny, the days of men doing the loonie toss in a female stripper's vagina aren't.

Sorry to be so blunt.  But it's true.  Canada = classy.

Sean Penn trying to keep up with Scarlett Johansson

Either Scarlett Johansson is dating Sean Penn, or she's his new trainer.  It's OBVIOUS they're dating but they still won't confirm it.  If I were Scar-Jo, I wouldn't be jumping to admit I went from Ryan Reynolds to twice my age, 50-year-old Sean Penn either...



That means, every little thing they do together ends up becoming news.  Entertainment Tonight posted this picture of the two of them going for a yog (the j is silent) today.

Fascinating I know.  He's like, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"



The dumbest part is that Scarlett actually had to deny to US Weekly that she's pregnant based on this photo.  Are you kidding me?  Didn't we JUST go over this?  You can't just search desperately for a millimetre of protrusion on someone's stomach while they inhale for .2 seconds and then cry, "BABY INSIDE!!"

2 preggos out of 3

Tina Fey announced recently that she is pregnant at an Oprah show taping to air soon which then it will come off as old news.  The 40-year-old 30 Rock star debuted her baby bump in NYC last night (via US Weekly).  Cuuuute.

Tina says she let her husb Jeff Richmond knock her up again so that their 5-year-old daughter wouldn't be siblingless.  That's nice of them.



Tori Spelling has also revealed she's preggo with her and Dean Mcdermott's third bay bay.  She tweeted, "I know there's been a lot of speculation, so I wanted everyone to hear from me... Its official...Dean & I are PREGNANT!!!!"  Whoa, he's pregnant too? Crazy!

Finally, don't go calling Nicole Richie pregnant because she is pissed that anyone would think so.  A few pictures have popped up online lately of her supposed "baby bump" and that's not cool when you don't actually have a baby in there...

According to People, Nicole denies baby #3 is on the way in a statement, "Contrary to recent speculation, I am not pregnant. This irresponsible reporting continues to feed an atmosphere of self-doubt and insecurity. To publicly point out a change in anyone's body is mean-spirited and cruel. People's bodies change and change again. This is not newsworthy and is a waste of valuable media space that should be used for more important issues."



I love how she always tells the blogs and tabloids off.  I really do wish people would shut-up about other people's weight.  And that goes for "you're too skinny!" too.  RUDE.

K-Fed's girlfriend is having a girl

Kevin Federline says he wants to marry his pregnant girlfriend Victoria Prince when he grows the balls to ask her.

US Weekly reports the ex-husb of Britney Spears as saying, "No wedding is in the works at all," adding, "I do want to get married. But I will wait until I have the courage to propose."



Wait, you don't have the courage to propose but you had the courage to do this on national TV?







Oh by the way, Kevin and Victoria are having a girl and naming her Jordan Federline. J-Fed for short.

Jackie Chan is alive!

#RIPJackieChan became a trending topic on Twitter today which got the online world buzzing that he had died but in fact, he was just the latest victim of many celebrity death hoaxes.  Anyone who believes something they see on Twitter without any credible news report backing it up first is just naive.  What are you, new??



Even so, the actor still felt like he had to defend his aliveness by updating his Facebook status, "Uh hi. I'm alive creepers." --Actually a statement was obviously posted by his people that read, "Jackie is alive and well. He did not suffer a heart attack and die, as was reported on many social networking sites and in online news reports. Jackie is fine and is busy preparing for the filming of his next movie."



WAIT.  If he didn't write that on his own wall, how do we know he's really not dead?!-- Is what some people were saying.  Because he's Jackie Fucking Chan, okay?  You think he'd die of a heart attack?  No.  He'd drop kick a heart attack in the FACE.



Proof:

JT and Biel are over

After more than 4 years of dating, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have broken up.  No, for real this time.  Seriously, there have been so many rumors of these two splitting up and JT's cheating ass for years... but they're confirming to the media that they're definitely over now.

[Their last public appearance as a couple, February 27 at an Oscars after-party. His eyes say it all... "When can I stop pretending?"]

Despite allegations of Justin hooking up with his Friends With Benefits co-star Mila Kunis, a rep for the former couple has stated (via People), “They mutually have decided to part ways. The two remain friends and continue to hold the highest level of love and respect for each other.”



Plus a source says they just both decided it was time to move on... As if... No drama?  Whatever.

And according to People, Mila is denying getting her freak on with JT saying they're just friends --NO benefits.  That's too bad because they'd be a hot couple.  And for her, it's definitely an upgrade from this kid:

Charlie Sheen's 20/20 quotes

Charlie Sheen's hour long interview with 20/20 aired last night.

At this point, he's a living one-liner.  Here are his best/delusional quotes from the ABC news program:

If he's on drugs: "I am on a drug it's called Charlie Sheen!"

On his father Martin Sheen: "I don't care if he's my Dad, back off with your judgement!"

Why he's taken so many drugs: "I have one speed, I have one gear... GO!"

How he survives all the drugs: "I've got tiger blood, man."

On his insomnia: "Sleep is for infants."

On his two "goddesses"/girlfriends: "Maybe the three of us will get married, OH now it's a polygamy story!"

The lesson he's teaching his sons: "Hey kids, your Dad is a rockstar!"

Speaking in third person, why his daughters need him, "He signs all the checks on the front, not the back."

How much he's suing Two and a Half Men honchos for: "All your toupees!"

If he's bi-polar: "I'm bi-WINNING."

His plans for the future: "Just winning. Everyday."

What his tombstone will say: "Something dot com."

In other Charlie Sheen news...

• He's on Twitter.


• TMZ reports his ex-wife Brooke Mueller has gotten a temporary restraining order banning him from coming within 100 yards of her.


• Also, their twin boys have been taken from his custody after he allegedly threatened her life.


• Brooke has a supposed anti-Semetic text message sent from Charlie, which he denies.  He claims she stole his phone and fabricated it. (via TMZ)


• Brooke also claims that Charlie wanted some child support money back to put a hit out on some of his associates and shave ex-wife Denise Richards' hair off.  (according to TMZ)


• Charlie calls Brooke's statements "a friggen lie" and wants to challenge her to a drug test.  She says she's working on her sobriety in a day program.  (People)

Is that it for today??  WINNING.

Frankie Muniz didn't try to off himself

The police report is filled with two sides to what seems like a very crazy story... and whatever went down, it definitely was NOT a good night for Frankie Muniz and his girlfriend.  Yes, he has one of those.

TMZ reports Malcolm in the Middle's rep as saying, "Frankie and Elycia [Turnbow] had an argument a few days ago. The police were called to the residence. A gun played no part in the argument and was voluntarily given to the police for safekeeping. There were no bruises and neither left the residence. He was not suicidal. She was not assaulted," adding that the couple is "still together and are moving forward with their lives and with their relationship."  He says he's gonna marry her, yo.



That's great.  However, it doesn't sync up to THIS police report:

• Friday night - the two are fighting about previous relationships when Frankie grabbed a gun and held it to his head.


• Elycia calls Frankie's bandmates (wait-- he's in a band??) to take him to the hospital.


• Frankie goes to the hospital and says what really happened, you see, is he fell and hit his head while she was screaming at him about some shit.  Ohhh!


• He goes home from the hospital and allegedly punches Elycia in the back of the head and throws her into a wall.


• Police show up.


• Frankie denies any abuse... denies that the gun was loaded... denies that he held it to his head.


• Police found the gun, it was loaded.


• Frankie claims he was defending himself because he woke up to his woman beating up on him.


• Cops take away his gun and warn him not to act a fool again of they'll throw them both in jail.

Something is off here... Put Agent Cody Banks on the case!

ScarJo denies rebounding with Jason Sudeikis

Now that they're both single, Scarlett Johansson and Jason Sudeikis should have known better than to go out to dinner together and not have everyone believe they're doing it.

But People reports Jason's Saturday Night Live castmate Will Forte was also there and her rep says, "Scarlett is not dating Jason nor is she dating anyone for that matter. It was just a friendly outing amongst friends."  So no threesome then.



Seriously though, it's going to be hard for this girl to upgrade from Ryan Reynolds.

No she's not

Fuck Star magazine and their filthy lies.  Hilary Duff has denied she has a grape-sized human being growing inside of her.



The actress took to her Twitter this morning to announce, "Wow what a way to wake up and find out your pregs! It's just a rumor guys! Not true. But thanks for all the good wishes! Lol".

Okay fine then.

Britney Spears "leak" is a demo and not her voice

You have to wait until Tuesday to hear the actual version of Britney Spears' new song "Hold It Against Me" because the leaked version is so not the real thing.

First of all, it's not even Britney's voice.  And the popstar explains it a tweet that it was an early demo of the track but adds, "If u think that's good, wait til you hear the real one Tuesday."  OW OW!!

Love it.  I don't even care if it was all a publicity stunt.

Sandra & Ryan rumors

The tabloids are at war over opposing views whether Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are hooking up or not.



US Weekly and OK! magazine are both claiming The Proposal co-stars have moved on from their 2010 divorces with each other.  But People magazine says that shit is ludicrous!  It all started when the 46-year-old actress and 34-year-old actor spent New Year's Eve together and that got everybody speculating on what went down...



According to OK! (who has dedicated their cover to this story):

The scene was Sandra’s Austin, Texas, restaurant, Bess Bistro, where after a night of dancing, The Proposal co-stars shared a midnight kiss, a champagne toast and left the restaurant together at 2 a.m., according to witnesses.

US Weekly co-signs this as they report (again, this is their cover story):

"They were very playful," the onlooker says of Bullock, 46, and Reynolds, 34, who were "smiling the whole time and occasionally touching...What a hot -- and quick -- rebound for both of them!"

But People shits all over their reports writing:

Any notion of a romance between Reynolds and Bullock "is ridiculous," says a source close to Reynolds. "They have been friends for 10 years and they celebrated New Year's with others. That's it. They really are just friends."

I think everyone so badly wants this to be true because how freakin' adorable were they in that movie, right?  Plus Sandra and Ryan are denying this alleged hookup themselves... but I'm sure they don't mind the part where their exes have to see them together on the covers of magazines!

Team Britney denies abuse

No surprise here, Britney Spears and co. are denying the pop star is being abused by boyfriend Jason Trawick.  Uh duhhrr.

TMZ reports Star magazine knew the allegations were false, but printed the story anyway.  Sickos.  They also say that Brit Brit and her ex-barely-even-husb haven't spoken in years and clearly the "audio confession" wasn't real... just like the love she shared with Jason Alexander in Vegas.  SNAP.



They're planning to sue those fuckfaces.



All this poor Britney has to deal with on her 29th birthday...  I'm almost 100% positive Jason Alexander isn't getting an invite to her party.

Eva Longoria files for divorce

The moment this post went up yesterday from TMZ's report that Tony Parker had filed for divorce from Eva Longoria, they removed the story.  The actress's rep and a courthouse official denied the rumors so TMZ retracted it...



Less than 24-hours later, Eva Longoria has filed for divorce.  For realz.  I guess she wanted to be the one to do it first??

According to People, rumors of the 28-year-old NBA player's infidelity is the reason although she listed good old "irreconcilable differences".  WAIT... WAIT!  Tony Parker is only 28??  I didn't know Eva was cougaring it up?  Why did I think he was older than that?  The Desperate Housewives star, 35, is seeking spousal support because I guess a pro-athlete makes way more coin than a simple TV actress.



The two do have a prenup signed one month before their July 2007 wedding, then updated it two years ago.  Oh that's so romantic... "Babe, I've been thinking.  We've been married two years now, let's edit the prenup! M-wah, m-wah, m-wah!"



Access Hollywood also reports that Eva is said to be devastated over her marriage falling apart and really wanted to have children with Tony.  However, that dream fell apart after she discovered he had been messing around with the WIFE of his San Antonio Spurs teammate.  WHOA, that takes teamwork to a whole new level.



Maybe Eva will find love with the tattoo artist who has to cover up her ink dedicated to Tony...

Eva Longoria is getting divorced

I was JUST thinking about these two the other day and wondering if they'd be the next celebrity couple to break up.  I know that's a horrible thing... that I think about celebrities all the time.



But TMZ reports Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are getting divorced.  

[from their July 2007 wedding... Eva must be standing on a stepladder.]

It was the NBA star who filed only yesterday, and I think the Desperate Housewives actress didn't know about it because she is saying, "What?  That never happened??"



Awkward.  Finding out you're single from TMZ...

Courteney Cox is not getting a divorce. Okay...

Courteney Cox has spoken out for the first time since announcing that she and husband David Arquette have separated...

The Cougar Town star tells Australia's TV Week (via People), "This is not like we're getting divorced."  Uhhh, okay.  Despite the fact that David is walking around sleeping with other women and calling himself single, his wife says, "This is a separation and I think that takes a lot of courage... Whatever is supposed to happen will be the best thing for us."



So you're on a break then right??  After 10 years of Friends, I still don't think anybody knows exactly what that means...