Tracy Morgan is sucking up to the gays

After it was discovered last week that Tracy Morgan made the worst joke in the world in his stand-up "comedy" show, he's been kissing some serious gay ass.

The 30 Rock star recently yelled (he doesn't know how to speak at a normal volume) on stage that he would kill his son if he acted homosexual. According to the review of an audience member on Facebook, which made this thing public, "He said that if his son was gay he better come home and talk to him like a man and not [he mimicked a gay, high pitched voice] or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N-word to death."



Sickening. First of all, I'm sure your son is really stoked that you wouldn't love and support him no matter what. If he actually is gay, he's now living in constant fear. Good job. But even more disturbing is even kidding around about murdering your child in cold-blood. That's psychotic!



Tracy has since apologized in a statement but that always comes off as forced and insincere because it's like, "Do you really mean that? Or are you saying this because you have to..." So EW reports the actor is going the extra mile with his damage control to try to prove he's not actually a violent homophobe and started by apologizing directly to GLAAD in person.

He shouted out loud, "I know how bad bullying can hurt. I was bullied when I was a kid. I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. I never want to use my comedy to hurt anyone. My family knew what it was like to feel different. My brother was disabled and I lost my father to AIDS in 1987. My dad wasn’t gay but I also learned about homophobia then because of how people treated people who were sick with that. Parents should support and love their kids no matter what. Gay people deserve the same right to be happy in this country as everyone else. Our laws should support that. I hope that my fans gay, straight, whatever forgive and I hope my family forgives me for this."

But that's not all.



Next up, Tracy will speak with gay and lesbian teens who were deeply offended by his ignorant rant. Then he'll make a public statement about supporting the LGBT community. And finally, he'll hope it'll all be over by the time he shoots a PSA with the, appropriately titled for Tracy, "Amplify Your Voice" campaign.



I think they need to throw in a visit to maximum security prison where this not-funny asshole can meet monsters who actually killed their children. Then a trip to meet some real-life victims of horrendous hate-crimes because this guy needs to be BEYOND scared straight (like the TV show-- not hetero straight). And the final test... His son should tell him, "Dad I'm gay" (whether he is or not, while wearing a bullet-proof vest, with trained snipers hiding behind the curtains for protection) and see what happens...

They say a team is only as strong as it's weakest player. I think the same can be said for society and sadly, it's people like Tracy Morgan who set the world back. Back in the day, if you weren't a white male you had no rights. We've come a long way yes, but not even close to far enough when human beings aren't all being treated as equals.



Tracy is being made an example of in this case because he's high-profile, and we certainly can't punish him forever since it's ultimately himself who has to live with his own rage issues and closed-minded habits. But hopefully this right here isn't all an act to save his career and he will honestly change his mindset so possibly others will be inspired to do the same.



Lady Gaga can't do it alone!

Botox mom says she made it all up

Oh now she says she wasn't telling the truth. You got me all worked up for nothing, bitch?!

Now that Botox mom, a.k.a. Kerry Campbell, now revealed as Sheena Upton lost custody of her daughter Britney (if that is her real name) for bragging about injecting her with botox... she's pulled a complete 180 on her story and says she lied for money. You just keep looking stupider and stupider, lady.



TMZ reports Sheena claims to have accepted $200 after being approached by UK tabloid The Sun to play a role in a story they wanted to run called "I Give My 8-Year-Old Daughter Botox." You sold out for a wimpy two hundred bones?? Sheena explains that after her fabricated article gained so much publicity, she was then asked to appear on camera for both Good Morning America and Inside Edition for much more cash. Rumor has it GMA paid her $10,000. Still, you can't buy dignity with that, Sheens.



She swears in a written declaration, "The truth is I have never given my daughter Botox, nor allowed her to get any type of waxing, nor is she a beauty pageant contestant." OK so was it opposite day? I wasn't aware. She now has her daughter back with her, but a cousin is forced to live with them as well... Keep a drooping botoxed eye on things.

Good Morning America says Upton's rapidly changing story is shady as hell and they had questioned members of her family and other sources who stood by the original botoxy mess.



And The Sun is denying (via TMZ) this takesies backsies as well saying they only printed the feature after a reporter witnessed the mother inject her child in the face with botox. Now they're considering suing Sheena's ass for making them look irreputable. Well-- I mean they are a tabloid but... How are we ever supposed to know if she's lying now or was lying then?



Either way, you're deceitful. Does little Britney need to read you the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" or what?

Botox mom loses custody

Think of the ultimate Toddlers & Tiaras nightmare story... now imagine worse.



Some dumb bitch named Kerry Campbell told Good Morning America last week that she is trying to preserve her 8-year-old pageant participating daughter's face by injecting her with botox, herself. Yes, she does this herself. Kerry thinks the natural lines on little Britney's face are wrinkles... yeah... this is what we're dealing with. This just in: THEY'RE NOT WRINKLES! And even if they were, you don't take reversing them into your own hands!

There are so many things wrong with forcing a young girl to get cosmetic treatments as harsh as botox. Sure, it's "safe"... FOR ADULTS. And an adult is free to freeze their face all they want, go at it all day, who cares! An adult can research it, research doctors and clinics, then come up with a rational decision whether or not to have it done. But planting the idea in your child's head that she NEEDS it (for her wrinkles?? What wrinkles??) is sickening.



Not only is it potentially dangerous to administer botox to a young girl, the message it sends her is so, so damaging to her self-confidence.



Needles are terrifying enough for kids (and adults --hellooo so scared of needles) as it is. There are some children who have medical issues such as diabetes who are forced to have daily injections, and it's absolutely heart breaking. Or think of a sick child who is hospitalized and hooked up to an IV, a needle stuck in their arm 24/7.  So to unnecessarily stick a needle in a child's FACE, no less, is traumatizing! And Britney says her botox procedures hurt her. Well DUHH!

It's not a shocker that the FDA has not approved botox for cosmetic purposes in children. One doctor says sometimes botox is used to correct crossed eyes or in extreme cases, ease the suffering of neurological disorders. But it should NEVER be used for any other reason, and it's not a "do-it-yourself" project. Dr. Richard Besser explains, "If you inject it in the face and it drifts to your throat, it can prevent you from swallowing. If it drifts to your breathing muscles, you can stop breathing. In a young child, if you're chronically using it on the face, it may actually change the shape of your face because your muscles interact with your bones to form what your face eventually looks like."



I bet you didn't take that into consideration Kerry. And clearly she hasn't done her homework when it comes to waxing either. In addition to botox, she also straight up waxes Britney's legs because she thinks it will reduce her hair growth later. An 8-year-old has nothing but peach fuzz, and waxing will only make her scream. And guess what?? We all had to learn how to shave our legs once we were old enough, it's part of growing up. We're not suffering because of it.



As for the psychological side of all this, you're basically telling your daughter she isn't pretty enough. She's going to be obsessed with her face her entire life and focus on all the superficial things. Young girls are typically very self-concious about their looks especially at the age where they hit puberty and everything is changing. Even if she grows up to be drop dead gorgeous, she will still find things wrong with herself and never see her true beauty. Telling her it's okay to get botox opens the door to eventually getting plastic surgery and drastically altering all of her features.



Oh but if she wins a pageant or two, who cares right? And if she becomes famous, she won't have problems... Nope! Lindsay Lohan doesn't have problems, Britney Spears doesn't have problems, Michael Jackson didn't have problems... Get your fucking priorities straight.



Thankfully, ABC News reports Britney has been temporarily removed from Kerry's home while child protective services launches an investigation. It doesn't mean she's lost custody forever but hopefully it's shaken her up enough to realize she's not a good mom! I don't care if it's a "pageant secret" like you say. It doesn't make it right, stupid. What's that cliche saying? "If everyone else jumped off a bridge...??"



But I bet the only thing she regrets is bragging to the world about it...

Way harsh

Alicia Silverstone has given birth to her first child and People reports she named the poor boy Bear Blu. Oh? Is he a teddy bear from a childrens storybook who has a case of the sads?

But usually, when I think of someone who people call "Bear", I think of the Urban Dictionary definition: "A term used by gay men to describe a husky, large man with a lot of body hair" --not the furry woodland creature.



And Blu? WHY? It's not even French for "blue" that's "bleu". So did you conceive him to Blu Cantrell's "Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!)" or something?







You're welcome for putting that song in your head for the next 24 hours whether you pressed play or not!

Osama and Obama are VERY different people

Jimmy Kimmel has pointed out several reporters who weren't too careful with their words while covering the death of Osama bin Laden Sunday night... and accidentally calling him Obama. When you say OBAMA has been killed, people are going to freak the fuck out that's the President of the United States!







I'm watching The View right now (Betty White is co-hosting, shutup) and the ladies are going OFF saying the redhead in this clip deserves to be fired. Ugh, and what makes it so much worse is that she's Canadian! I am so embarrassed for her and this epic fail. There's no excuse for fucking that up 3 times when you're a professional who is supposed to be reporting the facts.



She probably hates herself so much right now.

Two old people trying to have a baby

There should be a law against this.  I'm all for old people still getting it on, but not for old people trying to procreate.

Frédéric Prinz von Anhalt, the 67-year-old husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, 94, is trying to make a baby for them through a surrogate.  The ninth husband of the Hollywood legend tells TMZ he's dropping $100,000 at a fertility clinic to make a baby from his sperm with a surrogate for he and ZZ to keeps.  So wrong.



Fréd says, "It was always my wife's dream for us to have a child ... and even though we won't be using any of her eggs, she would be thrilled to know I'm going through with this."  Oh, so she doesn't even know?  You're just going to surprise a bedridden 94-year-old elderly woman with a newborn baby one day and then call her a bad mother when she can't take care of it?  She's been in and out of the hospital for the past year, and recently had one of her legs amputated.  Sadness.



Plus, Zsa Zsa is already the mother to a grown ass woman, Constance Francesca Hilton, with Conrad Hilton.  But I guess she's not enough...

Prinz von Anhalt continues, "I am so excited!! I hope Zsa Zsa is going to hang around for awhile. I want her to see and hold the baby's hand. She will be a mother again at 95!! It was her wish to have a boy."



Well maybe it's her one regret in life that she's realized since she's been on her death bed that she never had a boy... but that's not the kind of "dream" you make come true in this situation.  How about you adopt a 30-year-old pregnant woman instead and you can make yourselves GRANDPARENTS.

Dear God why

Charlie Sheen has resorted to taking his clothes off on stage [via DListed]... and he thinks this will make people NOT walk out on his tour??

I'm so sorry for your eyes, Chicago.

Ray Charles' mistress admits stealing his money

This is pure evil.



A woman who was having an affair with Ray Charles starting in 1968 admits she used to secretly steal his money in a new memoir.

After concerts where he was paid in cash, this monster would take his $100 bills and replace them with $1s... According to AceShowBiz, Marci Soto even tries to defend herself writing, "I certainly didn't feel like I was robbing the blind. I felt like he was ready to do something he should have done years earlier, pay off my house."



Really, you didn't feel like you were robbing the blind?  Because actually, that's exactly what you were doing.  And you really think this guy should have paid off your house??  Bitch, you were both married to other people!  Total gold-digging ho.



Not surprising though... supposedly they met after Marci convinced Ray's manager to set them up on a date.  They boned that night and kept sexing for years.  Decades apparently.  In 1997, she even convinced Ray to pay for her legal fees to finally divorce her husband.



Oh and now you're trying to make more money off him with this pathetic book?  How about you take your earnings and hand it all to his family while begging for their forgiveness.  WOW.  Hell has a special place set aside for his broad.

Which kiss is more awkward?

Here's Charlie Sheen planting one on Jimmy Kimmel during a surprise appearance on the talk-show last night...

And Liv Tyler and her father Steven Tyler channeling their inner Angelina Jolie/James Haven on the red carpet of her new movie's premiere...

It's the hand on the face thing... save it for your lovah, not your father, your friend, or your brotha.

The shitshow that is Charlie Sheen continues...

Hey Charlie Sheen, shut the hell up.  You're not helping your cause...



Watch the temporarily (or maybe forever) out-of-work actor looking and sounding like a strung out crackhead on Good Morning America earlier today... and trying to convince everyone while looking like death that he's not on drugs, he's on "CHARLIE SHEEN!" *shaky jazz hands*







EW!!  Who lights up a nasty cigarette during an interview?  I love the expression on ABC reporter Andrea Canning's face she's like, "You're a loser."



And the red BOMB wire??  I thought that was Liquorice at first!  Fuhhh-reak.



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Oh and there's even more of this fuckery with NBC's Today Show:





Between that shoutie reporter and Charlie's demented explanations, that was painful.



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According to TMZ, Charlie wants $16 million for canceling the remaining episodes this season of Two and a Half Men.  Meanwhile, the show has agreed to pay the crew for the 4 weeks of lost work.  That's good to hear... about the crew, not about that undeserving tweaker suing.



TMZ is also reporting Charlie still wants to do another two seasons of Two and a Half Men despite this drama, but only if he's paid $3 million per episode and a $20 million signing bonus.  Good luck with that.



Also... The 24-hour Charlie Sheen watch, TMZ, has posted that Charlie's longtime publicist is also over this shit and has resigned.  Stan Rosenfield says in a statement, "I worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much, however, at this time, I'm unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned."  Then TMZ says Sheen was all, "You can't quit YOU'RE FIRED, or whatever."  Only mature people say that...

THEN, he proceeded to do a 42-minute interview with some guy from TMZ in his own backyard.  Like what??  Are we kissing his ass now for website hits?  That's also called 'enabling', assholes.  Or are you just letting Charlie humiliate himself even more knowing the guy is too fucked in the head to realize that?  Seriously TMZ.  This is low, even for you.



And there is no way I can sit through 3/4 of an hour of listening to another high metaphor from this perma-fried, haggard, so far gone, egotistical, quick-talker.  I'm exhausted even writing about him.  God I hope he takes tomorrow off...

J-Biebz believes in CSI killing but not unborn baby killing

Rolling Stone is known for exploiting young stars to sell magazines (ie: the underage Britney Spears bedroom bra and panties cover in 1999) so I'm not really surprised they're asking Justin Bieber, 16, for his views on abortion...

The interview went from sex, to Canadian health care and political parties, then to unborn fetuses and whether or not he believes in taking a vacuum to them. Yep, clearly they're going after controversy.



Here's the excerpt:

"I don't think you should have sex with anyone unless you love them," Bieber says. When asked if he believes in abstinence until marriage, Bieber – who is reportedly dating fellow teen star Selena Gomez – seems wary: "I think you should just wait for the person you're...in love with."

Near the end of their time together Vanessa Grigoriadis [the editor] caught a glimpse of Bieber's desktop image on his laptop: It was him and Gomez against an orange sunset. Bieber quickly closed the computer when he noticed that Grigoriadis had seen the picture.

Other highlights from the story:

- The Canadian-born Bieber never plans on becoming an American citizen. "You guys are evil," he jokes. "Canada's the best country in the world." He adds, "We go to the doctor and we don't need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you're broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard's baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby's premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home."

- He isn't sure what political party he'd support if he was old enough to vote. "I'm not sure about the parties," Bieber says. "But whatever they have in Korea, that's bad." He does have a solid opinion on abortion. "I really don't believe in abortion," Bieber says. "It's like killing a baby." How about in cases of rape? "Um. Well, I think that's really sad, but everything happens for a reason. I don't know how that would be a reason. I guess I haven't been in that position, so I wouldn't be able to judge that."

Clearly the Biebz is not mature enough for these loaded questions, so why even ask??  OH I've ALWAYS wanted to know what he thinks about terminating pregnancies... Not!  He's a teenage pop star.  His opinions are probably those of his parents and his religion.  Even if he doesn't grow up to believe a woman has the right to choose, who the hell cares what he THINKS??  He's not going to launch some anti-abortion campaign ever, so stop shitting all over the kid.



Moving on, here's J.B. getting shot to death on last night's CSI:







Really, did they actually just check that bobblehead's pulse?  That many bullet wounds and you think there's a chance he's still alive?  Haha, SO CHEESE.  Wow.  But, good aim!  It's crazy how the van received barely any damage...



"And I was like Baby, Baby, Baby!" BANG.

Nooo, not Hov and B!

I refuse to believe this...



Rumors of Jay-Z and Beyonce splitting up have been circulating the internet since early this week…

According to NecoleBitchie.com, it all started when Jay-Z appeared on the red carpet of the Roc Nation pre-Grammys lunch without B on Sunday. Beyonce then arrived at the Grammys that night as pal Gwyneth Paltrow's date and didn’t sit with her man during the show. They were however, photographed leaving an afterparty together…



The next day, Beyonce spent her Valentine’s Day with her sister Solange Knowles and former Destiny’s Child members Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams.

The reason for the alleged split or “trial separation” as they’re calling it… is kids. Apparently Jay wants them and B does not, at least not right now. Also, the couple has bought a house in L.A. which is said to be the rapper’s bachelor pad at the moment. :-(



The two have been together since 2002 and got married in 2008.  Please tell me this breakup isn’t true “Bonnie & Clyde”…

Ellen & Portia have a stalker

Ugh, who could do this to Ellen?  The talk-show host and her wife Portia DeGeneres had to deal with a psycho outside of their home not once but twice in one night last week.

According RadarOnline, some random named Karen Grace Sjoden was hiding under cushions on the deck outside of their kitchen early in the morning.  Yeah, that's not scary at all... Security was called and she was asked to leave around 3AM, but returned around 5AM.  Stalkerrr.



Sjoden (is that a silent 'j'?) was charged with misdemeanor trespassing was arraigned in Beverly Hills court this afternoon.  Of course the broad pled not guilty but had something special to say... "This is a set up."  HAHA.  She said she was doing a private investigating job.  Bitch, you can't just hide on other people's patios in the middle of the night like a creep and attempt to pass it off as legit work.  What are you investigating anyway?  Sleep patterns of celebrities??



And perhaps if Karen G wouldn't have gotten caught at Ellen and Portia's, she would have fluffed the pillows on other celebs porches too... she was found with a list several other Hollywood stars names and addresses.  Plus she had a rambling letter on her all about Hillary Clinton.  Yep, nutjob.

Karen G Sjoden's bail was set at $200,000 today and was ordered to stay at least 100 yards away from the DeGeneres...es.  She should just stay 100 yards away from people in general...

Team Britney denies abuse

No surprise here, Britney Spears and co. are denying the pop star is being abused by boyfriend Jason Trawick.  Uh duhhrr.

TMZ reports Star magazine knew the allegations were false, but printed the story anyway.  Sickos.  They also say that Brit Brit and her ex-barely-even-husb haven't spoken in years and clearly the "audio confession" wasn't real... just like the love she shared with Jason Alexander in Vegas.  SNAP.



They're planning to sue those fuckfaces.



All this poor Britney has to deal with on her 29th birthday...  I'm almost 100% positive Jason Alexander isn't getting an invite to her party.

Star claims Britney Spears abuse

Star magazine is taking bullshit to a whole new level as they are claiming Britney Spears is being abused by her boyfriend Jason Trawick.



They supposedly got the information from Brit's 2004 Las Vegas husband of less than 3 days.  Oh yes, he's not hungry for attention AT ALL...

So apparently the pop star told the non-Seinfeld version of Jason Alexander that "her life had turned into a nightmare."  He claims Britney accused Trawick of hitting her "so hard it gave her a black eye," AND that she had been pregnant with his child earlier this year.  RadarOnline even claims to have the audio of Britney "confiding" in J.A., but I've heard it sounds fake as fuuhh.

So if Jason Alexander genuinely believes Britney is getting beat, why would he out her abusive relationship in Star magazine??  Wouldn't that result in her getting beat WORSE?  But he says he's telling her story because he's "really concerned" and feels she's "telling me these secrets as a way of getting out of this."



Yeah okay.  More like he's using his former wife and famous friend for a quick buck and another 55 hours of fame...

Marie Claire bashes "fatties"

So this is irresponsible journalism...



Marie Claire, a fashion/beauty/health/relationships magazine, has let one of their writers Maury Kelly bash obese actors on television.  Specifically, the stars of the new CBS sitcom Mike & Molly.  (Which, is a very funny show by the way.)

In case you don't know, Mike & Molly is the story about two people who meet at an 'Over-eaters Anonymous' group and start dating.  It's actually very refreshing to see a show on TV that nobody else would dare make, even though plus-sized couples are so common in everyday life.  If you saw a plus-sized couple walking hand-in-hand down the street right now, you wouldn't even look twice.  But for some reason, seeing it on TV "grosses out" this insensitive Marie Claire writer.



In her article titled "Should 'Fatties' Get A Room (Even On TV?)", Maura Kelly believes Mike & Molly promotes obesity and there's no way people "as fat" as them could be healthy.  Then she goes off into all the health problems those actors must have and how much it costs the country to keep overweight people alive.  That might be true, but it doesn't change the fact that there are obese people in the world, and they fall in love all the time.  So why should we act like it doesn't exist on TV?



It's like this woman thinks people actually strive to be overweight!  I doubt that, but what I do think is that the show is easy for a lot of viewers to relate to.  And it's funny.  And it's sweet.



Finally there's a show where the main couple is realistic instead of an overweight husband with a hot wife that nobody ever seems to get offended by.  Examples: According To Jim, King Of Queens, even cartoons like The Simpsons and Family Guy.  But when the WOMAN is overweight too, OH MY GOD, they must be promoting obesity.  Did anyone ever feel influenced to purposely gain weight just from watching Roseanne back in the day?



Here's the superficial money quote where this vain bitch is comparing people with "rolls and rolls of fat" to heroin addicts and alcoholics:

"Yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair."

I hope this Maura Kelly broad develops a thyroid problem and balloons up to 350 pounds one day.

Australia's Next Top Model... not

As Sarah Silverman would say... "There's awkward, there's awkWEIRD, and then there's this."



Watch as the host of Australia's Next Top Model announces the wrong name as the winner of the competition live on television... followed by letting the poor girl believe she won for about a minute while she thanks everybody before the host goes "whoopsie!"







The Huffington Post reports because of the mix-up, Kelsey will be sent to New York City and receive a $25,000 "please don't sue us for humiliation" prize.

Segway owner dies in a freak segway accident

This is just weird.



Jimi Heselden, a 62-year-old multi-millionaire who took over a Segway company less than one-year-ago, has died... on his segway.  Bad investment.

The Daily Mail reports Jimi was riding one of the machines around his River Wharfe, England, property when he drove off a cliff.  Police are not calling his death suspicious, but at this time do not know if it was a malfunction with the Segway or a driver error.



What a crazy way to die!  Those things are just effing dangerous.  And they look ridiculous too.  Honestly, they are NOT cool.



And if the death part didn't turn you off to Segways, maybe this will help:

Digging for gold

Hi.  Yeah... I don't know if you're new but you've got a pretty prime seat in the news room.. and when that lady right there is talking to the camera that you're staring straight into, that means you're on live TV.  So next time you PROBABLY shouldn't pick your nose and/or eat your boogers like in the video below:





EMBED-Woman Picks Nose During News Broadcast - Watch more free videos



It's called kleenex.